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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27753706">Through Pride and Contempt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperspray325/pseuds/pepperspray325'>pepperspray325</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Attempt at Humor, Character Death, Comedy, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Grey Warden Alistair (Dragon Age), Leliana!critical, Modern Girl in Thedas, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Unrequited Love, not overtly violent but like some, people are gonna die thats just how itsgottabe, redeemed cullen rutherford, talk of withdrawal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:02:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>41,852</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27753706</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepperspray325/pseuds/pepperspray325</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After almost dying three too many times, Aurora is not having the greatest time adapting to her new life or death in Thedas, partially because she is having a hard time determining which it is.<br/>After struggling with a mental disorder that had her hearing a voice for the past few years, she noticed that after passing through the veil it seemed to become silent and stronger. A new world, needing to fight for one's life every day, and scrambled memories don't tend to make the best cocktail of choices. But Aurora will be damned if she lets anyone know why she isn't keen to go back. </p><p>This world does not have the Dragon Age games or books, there are references to past games, wiki articles, what I have read from the official books, and a decent amount of head cannons.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alistair &amp; Female Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Alistair/Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There is a hotly debated topic that scientists, scholars, and theologists have discussed for as long as we had pursued deeper thought, one that always would pop back up like a cosmic wack-a-mole. “When does life truly begin?” It is a thought that had taken up more space in the mind of some than others, but it is its counterpart that seemed to haunt Jo “When does life truly end?” Sitting in the passenger's seat of her exes car was starting to make her think <em>"I wish to have life truly end at this very moment."</em></p><p>“You can <em>try</em> and act like you want to go-”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Well, your mom wanted me to get you out of your apartment for once.”</p><p>“And I guess that just shows how desperate she is.” </p><p>Jo’s fingers were cold despite just having exited Brison’s car. It was nearing what would normally be the end of winter for most other areas around them, but the winter liked to hold onto their region like a two-year-old without object permanence holds onto their stuffed animal. There were many cars around them, footprints in the snow in all directions, and music thumping through the air seemed to meet her chest even from a few hundred feet away. </p><p>“Just admit your mom likes me.” The curly-haired boy threw over his shoulder while walking towards the back entrance of the house. <em>"What an imbecile."</em> She looked up from her thoughts to met his contagious grin, even when he was angry he would smile. She is glad that wasn’t the case now. </p><p>“She has never liked you and most likely never will. I am almost certain of it.” She meant for the words to be bitting, but as usual, they had little to no effect on him. Whether it was because he ignored it or didn't value her opinions she wasn't certain. Brison held back his steps until she caught up and threw an arm over her shoulder.</p><p>“She’ll like me when we get married.” He mused almost to himself.</p><p>“Like that is ever going to happen.” Jo rolled her eyes and made a point to actually get inside. The further away from him would be better. Him just joking about it made her want to sock him in the jaw.</p><p>“Hey! It could.” He called out before jumping in front of her blocking the door. “I just have to get you to like me again first.” A mocking laugh escaped her lips before she even realized it. </p><p>“I want you to think about what you just said for longer than three seconds.” She leaned around to see through the small window in the door, wanting to press past him.</p><p>“I did it before.” He rested a hand on her arm lightly, like he knew he wasn't supposed to. She glanced down and watched as his thumb slowly attempted to reassure her. “Let’s just get you through tonight though right? Maybe just act like old times?” At that, she really was about to let her fist loose.</p><p>“You told all of them we were coming <em> together,  </em>didn’t you?” She started to complain further before someone opened the door causing her to freeze.</p><p>“Jo! Wow it's so great to see you out again. Can’t believe Brison actually managed to get you out for once.” The tall man leaned against the doorframe with a drink in hand, she couldn’t meet his eyes so she kept them on the color of his cup. <em>"God fucking damnit this guy. I know he lives here but I was hoping I wouldn't have to actually talk to him."</em></p><p>“Hey Jeremiah, yeah we got her out of the place. Thought it might be good to get her out socializing again.” Brison took a few steps backward before touching the small of her back to incline her foreword. “Let’s head-on in yeah? I don’t think you have eaten.” </p><p>“I-I haven’t.” It was harder than she thought it would be to try and avoid a disgusted and or furious face. </p><p>“That settles it then!” Jeremiah opened the door wider. “Come on in, everyone has been waiting for the two of you to show up.” She felt her feet making their way inside almost against her will, causing her to curse social pleasantries for everything in the world at that very moment.</p><p>For a basement, it was decently well lit, and it looked nearly identical to how it looked back when everyone had parties here in middle and high school. Though it was more festive now with the Christmas lights not having found their way down yet as well as an <em>extremely</em> festive beer pong table. Jo of course was looking at all of this to avoid the stares from everyone that met her as soon as she walked through the entryway.</p><p>“You said there would be like twenty people max.” She whispered out for Brison to hear.</p><p>“Twenty people and their friends apparently.” The asshole was smiling, oh he definitely knew. </p><p>“Don’t act dumb.” She started to shove the nail of her thumb into his side and he hid a small yipe of pain.</p><p>“Was that really necessary?” The two of them stopped in the middle of the room across from the built-in bar and he met her hazel eyes. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket but she quickly sent it to voice mail and rolled her eyes at him. </p><p>“Do you really find it so necessary to lie compulsively- Oh heeeyyyyyy Rebecca how are you?” A strained smile broke across her face when a petite woman her age came walking up to them holding another drink.</p><p>“Oh, I’m just doing so great! It's fantastic to see you. Here, I brought you this-” The cup outstretched to her was taken gingerly. </p><p>“Thank you, what is it?” </p><p>“Oh, just some jungle juice Jeremiah started up when we all got here. It's really not that bad. Someone came last time and poured a bunch of Irish whisky in it and it tasted horrible. It's a lot better this time.” </p><p>The cup stayed in her fingers for a few moments and Brison was staring her down. </p><p>
  <em> “Drink it. What the hell has he done for you?” </em>
</p><p>“Thanks, Rebecca, just what I needed.” Jo said into her drink, staring over the edge at her compatriot that was shaking his head in warning. </p><p><em> “What the hell else was he expecting bringing us to a party?” </em> Jo rolled her eyes again before redirecting her attention to the party around them. Brison shook his head this time in disappointment before turning to the petite woman and redirecting her away. “ <em> Well, that was nice at least.”  </em></p><p>The room was filled with many faces she recognized, but many she didn’t. Their town was incredibly small, her hundred people graduating class being the largest they had seen in nearly twenty years if that gives you any estimate. There were the same guys she used to see for twelve years straight drinking near the bear pong table. What had it been, six years? Six years since they all graduated together? It must be close to that at least. Some of them shot glances at her but she didn’t stare long enough to pay it much mind. It seemed that Brison announcing she was his date for the night managed to keep them off of her, she was thankful for that at least. If she were to be thankful for anything. </p><p>So she took a deep drink.</p><p>After a few minutes of watching, she started to find herself almost able to relax. The lights were flickering in some parts but they covered every square foot of the place. Some Christmas lights were wrapped around rafters, some around support poles. People were throwing their heads back laughing at a stupid joke Jeremiah said and everyone stared at him like the charismatic bastard he was back in school. All of these people, familiar and the unfamiliar, had come back into their town for their spring break at college, they lived in the area, or they simply got the invite. It always felt like everyone from her town had a strong sense of community with each other. As if an entire town of people could somehow manage to really be one big family. She hadn't felt a part of it in so long, she didn't know if she could again. </p><p>When she was younger these types of gatherings were overstimulating, but after a while she went anyways out of a fear of being left out. Even just yesterday she thought she might have reverted back to that, but instead she stood there. The fairy lights twinkled and the dark winter outside felt like a cold blanket that rested on the house, keeping everyone in closer in some form of comfort. The age-old buzz of twenty-somethings laughing or whispering to themselves felt comfortable, even if it felt like it didn’t belong to her anymore. Her phone wouldn’t stop ringing so she turned it to silence without looking. Brison had come over to her claimed wall a few times, offering snacks and soft words. He could tell she didn’t want to talk to him, but she also didn’t ask to leave. After the second or third try, he reluctantly decided to give her space. </p><p>“Here for Brison or the Aurora Borealis?” A voice startled her on her right. Turning quickly she saw a buzzed head and a strong nose, a familiar one it seems this time. </p><p>“What was that?”</p><p>“Well, Brison made a point to tell everyone that you were coming with him tonight. But it seems like you won’t give him the time of day.” His smooth voice rang out in contrast to the room around him. She glanced over at the man who drove her here as he gave a little wave. </p><p>“You always were an observant one, Ryley.” She responded lowly. </p><p>A smile cracked at the corner of his mouth. “You always made him scramble.”</p><p>“He always deserves it.” </p><p>“You’ve got that right. I’m surprised out of everyone he is the one you kept in contact with.” He spoke hesitantly, but he spoke with his diaphragm, so it never sounded shy. </p><p>“He didn’t really give me a choice. He was always… persistent.” </p><p>Ryley’s lips straightened into a line glaring at the man across the room. Brison’s eyes quickly diverted. “I always hated that dumb shit.” </p><p>“I’m pretty sure most people do.” </p><p>And with that, she found herself with company. They would comment on the people going past them and he made her comfortable to laugh like the others. He was kind, and she had forgotten how it felt to actually enjoy the presence of another person. The minutes passed and the drink was empty and her mouth was dry. She cursed under her breath as she realized her mistake</p><p>“Headache?” Ryley tilted his head to the side to side-eye her. “That was only your first drink wasn’t it?” </p><p>“Yeah... It was.”</p><p>The room decided to seemingly ignore the laws of physics as well as change where it wanted to place its axis.</p><p>“I think I’m going to be sick, excuse me.” </p><p>With that Jo disappeared around the corner up the stairs to the main area of the house. Jeremiah’s family wanted to move to a smaller place after their kids all left, he decided he didn’t want anyone else to have the house so he bought it off of them himself. Thankfully for her, that meant she already knew where the bathroom was. </p><p>Moving past others with the stealth and dexterity not even akin to a day old puppy, she managed to find one of the bathroom’s empty. She attempted to close the door quietly but she wasn’t really in the right mind to know if she did or not. Her back quickly found the door then slid down it until she reached the floor. Curled up she closed her eyes hoping to reset her placement in the world, it did little but make her feel like she was falling through space. </p><p>
  <em> “Thought you could hold your liquor better than that? What a shame.” </em>
</p><p>“You are the one who told me to drink it!” </p><p>
  <em> “I’m not the one in control here am I though?” </em>
</p><p>“Could you just <em> shut up </em>?”</p><p>“Hey Jo are you alright..?” A soft but slightly slurred voice came from the other side of the door. It took her a second to take into account where she was and what was going on. It was Rebecca, the drink giver herself. </p><p>“Brison saw you run upstairs and wanted me to check on you...” Her voice was filled with concern, and Jo’s heart ached at the sound of it. There were many times where Rebecca would be going through something and she would be the only one to console her, she wondered if she just felt in debt.</p><p><em> “None of them give a shit about you. How could they after you ignored all of them for years?”  </em> The tightness in her throat and the fear of what the woman on the other side of the door would think if she heard her respond kept her quiet. Her hands found their way to cover her face and she wanted to make this stop. </p><p>“I- I understand. It might be hard for you to be out after so long..” From the sounds of it, she had found her way to her knees on the other side of the door. “I just wanted to let you know that you may not be… Where you wanted to be, at this point in your life. I know you didn’t want to be stuck in this town forever. But.. We’re here. Or at least we’d like to be.” </p><p>Jo stayed quiet, she wanted everything to be quiet again. Everyone pitied her for her small apartment, for her never going out, for her not having any friends but Brison anymore. But in that small room, she could pretend there was nothing outside of it. She could pretend all she needed was herself and whatever was in sight. It was calming. It was anything but this. </p><p>As Rebecca started to open her mouth again Jo found herself standing up quickly and ripping the door open. Throwing an apology over her shoulder on the way down the stairs again, she saw memories in every corner of the room and with almost every face she saw. Some were older than her, some younger, some she had never spoken to but had been around her entire life. Her mind was a flurry, but that didn’t stop her from forgoing her coat and making her way out into the snow. Not long after she heard her name being called by Brison. She started to run harder, the cold making her lungs tight. </p><p>Not donning his own jacket Brison started to go after her when Ryley stood in his way. “Do you really think you are who she needs to talk to right now?” </p><p>“Sorry I didn’t see anyone else bothering the past two years.” He shoved the taller man off of him before racing off into the dark. </p><p>Jo was glad that she was raised on wearing work shoes everywhere she went. Practical times like running away from a party while drunk during a new moon really reminded you of these life lessons. </p><p>
  <em> “You really ruin everything, don’t you? Can’t even stay at a party for an hour without fucking it up.” </em>
</p><p>“I never wanted this! I just wanted to stay home!” Her throat felt like it almost was ripping in the sharp air. In frustration, she let out a furious grunt and punched a tree. It took a few seconds for the pain to really register but at that point, she was already hunched over trying to look at it.  But it was so dark she could only go off of the feeling of wetness that she had broken the skin open. "If the medicine did its fucking job then I wouldn't be here right now and you could finally shut the fuck up!" She screamed so hard her throat instantly turned to sandpaper in the freezing temperatures. </p><p>“Jo, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have- Let me just bring you home.” Brison came around a hill in the trees. At the sight of him, she ignored the pain in her hand and sprinted off again, a deep panic bubbling in her stomach. <em>"Shit shit shit shit shit-"</em></p><p>Soon she found herself in the middle of an opening that stretched out as far as she could see. She slowed down from her momentum and hunched over attempting to breathe. It was so dark but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, she wondered how far across it really was to get to the tree line again. She hadn't been in these woods in years, so it definitely wasn't going to be navigational when it was so dark out. </p><p>“Whoa-” Brison stopped himself at the tree line and slowly looked up to Jo heaving twenty feet or so in front of him. He lifted up his phone to try and get a better look at her and his face fell in fear. “Jo... I know you are upset but I really need you to come back... Slowly..” </p><p>The panic in her stomach seemed to bubble and she started to feel it in her chest in its new fashion, anger? No. Completely and utterly pissed off. “Why? Brison? Why the hell should I?” She flung her arms all around for emphasis but quickly realized that they did not help with her newly acquired balance problem. </p><p>The light from his phone glinted off the stream of tears coming down her face. Her hands and cheeks were beet red and she was shaking like a leaf. </p><p>“I just need... I need you to come back over here” He attempted to soften his voice.</p><p>“I don’t want to go back. I don't ever want to go back. All of this is just so freaking… pointless.” Her chest heaved between words. “Am I supposed to just hide in my stupid apartment all the time and pretend nothing is wrong? That it wasn’t my fault? That none of this was my fault?” </p><p>He tried the best he could to keep his voice calm and even. “Jo… You have to know it <em> wasn’t </em>your fault-”</p><p>
  <em> “He is lying” </em>
</p><p>“SHUT UP”</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I know that's how you see things. I’m sorry... Just please-” he hesitantly took a step forward.  </p><p>“I NEVER WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME AGAIN.” She yelled at him with the full force of her body. She felt it in her feet, outside of her chest heaving and it was quiet besides the sound of her heart in her ears. </p><p>“Jo... I’m sorry. You know I have worked on changing. I’ve done everything I could to try and be a good friend to you. It's been years-”</p><p>“It wasn’t years ago to me”</p><p>With that they stood facing each other, his hand finally dropped and so did the light on his phone. When it looked like he was about to open his mouth-</p><p>
  <em> Come back </em>
</p><p>The voice. It was different. It wasn’t Brison either. </p><p><em>“No.” </em>The voice said, firmly, but filled with a fear she had never heard before. What was this?</p><p>“Jo please let me take you home. I promise I will drop you off and I will go home. I promise.” She could see a bit of light from his phone show on his face and through some of the fog on her glasses, she could see how pleading they were. </p><p>Her phone went off in her pocket again and she screamed in frustration. She thought she had silenced it. Without thinking she pulled it out of her pocket and threw it at the ground. The first thing she noticed was the light, the second thing the name flashing on the screen. </p><p>The last thing she noticed was the crack.</p><p>She looked up at Brison whose eyes widened in fear. Then suddenly all three voices, Brison, the voice that she recognized, and this new voice that appeared out of nowhere screamed out at the same time. </p><p>The second the green filled the sky the ice broke out from beneath her. She extended her arms to find some hold on the ice around her but the second she was submerged in the water she went into shock. Brison was hardly visible moving across the ice trying to find a way to grab her, but he was. Instead, she felt her legs freeze up, her chest immediately attempted to suck in air to compensate for the cold around her but it found none. Instead of the puffs of fog she had been expelling earlier now, she could only see a mix of green from the Aurora Borealis they originally came out to see in the first place. <em>"Fitting"</em>, she thought. <em>"To end a night this way."</em> She felt herself falling, in a way reminiscent to the way she felt in the bathroom not even twenty minutes earlier. Had that short of time already passed? It felt like a lifetime ago, like all moments in the past feel when it came to times like this. Some form of sick acceptance to have your last moments be peaceful, even if the rest of your life wasn’t. </p><p>She stared up at the green, her first time ever seeing it. She supposed she was glad in a way, that she finally got to see the northern lights before she died. It was more than others got. </p><p>Then she closed her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>When she thought she was seeing the Aurora Borealis for the last time. She didn’t really think she would wake up… Inside it. Clutching her head, Jo rolled over and managed to find her footing. Looking around there was nothing familiar. It was foggy, everything was green, and it seemed completely empty outside of those two descriptors. It was very quiet, quieter than she had thought possible. </p><p>“Wh… what?” She uttered out loud, her voice not having an echo as she had expected, and not even a second later regretted the action. She whipped her head around trying to identify the sound coming near her. While it sounded just like the wind, it was more deafening in this area that was otherwise devoid of sound. It was a language she didn’t know. Whispers and screams coursed together in a cacophony of sound and song that made less than a melody. It looked like the fog started to take a form with glowing eyes, with that her legs seemed to remember how to work as they started to run in the opposite direction. </p><p>“Is this what it's like to die? What the actual FUCK-”</p><p>
  <em> “JUST KEEP RUNNING” </em>
</p><p>She didn’t have to be told twice, quite frankly not even once, as she had no intention on actually stopping. Leaping over rocks and tumbling with more energy than she had thought possible for herself anymore she made her way across this insane world she found herself in. Outside the sound of the screaming behind her she noticed how she was actually still wet. </p><p><em>“So that actually happened at least. I still drowned in that stupid mini-lake or pond or whatever?”</em> she thought to herself, she started to notice the weakness in her lungs as she sprinted forward, as the adrenalin wasn't able to fix everything. <em>“If I’m dead can’t I at least have good lungs afterward?”</em></p><p>After what felt like forever she came across a bright light shining in front of her. She thought maybe the sun had finally peaked through, but it in fact had NOT because it was the shape of a woman and it was beckoning to her. She suddenly really considered having her medication upped or switched if this was in fact not the afterlife and she came to her senses soon. </p><p>It was a struggle, but the moment she touched hands with the woman she felt herself land on the hard ground. She felt her lungs aching from the running, drowning, and exhaustion. She patted the ground for a moment trying to get her bearings, she coughed weakly at first then as hard as she could as the remnants of water found their way out of her lungs. Once that was out she also proceeded to throw up. </p><p>“Oh that's <em> disgusting </em>-”</p><p>“<em> Maker</em>, you see a full-blown woman drop out of that thing and you are worried about some bile?”</p><p>At that, her head loddled until she was able to meet eyes with the two men in front of her. They both were wearing some stupid looking medieval ass armor that had some all-seeing eye on it. One took a shuffled step back and looked at her in fear. Feeling absolutely done with the way this night was going, and the fact that she was face to face with some random dudes with armor on she said the only thing she could think of. </p><p>“Oh piss off.” </p><p>And then promptly passed out. </p><p> </p><p>Instead of finding herself on her bed, a bed, or even a small piece of carpet like she did one night at her uncle Tim’s to “build character” before her mom found out and beat his ass for it, she found herself on freezing stone. Shifting to touch her head that was throbbing she heared shuffling all around her that made her open her eyes to attention. Adrenaline running through her body for the third time in what seemed like at least the past 24 hours made her feel at best- not the greatest. Before her mind was even really able to process it, she saw that there were people with swords drawn on her surrounding her. Her throat was dry and she reached up to touch her neck when she realized that she was actually in some primitive version of handcuffs. </p><p><em> “Either this is some grand sex thing I signed up for while drunk, I have finally dropped into hallucination territory again, or I am just royally fucked. Though I guess that last statement goes with all of those options.” </em> She thought to herself while glancing at the pointy end of the sword closest to her. <em> “Could you for ONCE in your life shut up”  </em>The familiar voice chastised her.<em>“You live here rent-free hell no.”</em> </p><p>At that thought, she jumped at the sound of the door opening somewhere in front of her. The door clearly had some light on the other side of it that gave her a sense of hope. The moment the glimpse of outside met her eyes she felt a pinching on her left hand. The two figures in front of her seemed a more imposing threat than her possibly bleeding hand so she kept her eyes up. </p><p>Two women before the tired woman were imposing in different ways with their stances. One started circling her like a panther while the other seemed almost on her toes ready to strike at any second. Not reassuring to say the very least. </p><p>“Tell me why we shouldn’t kill you now.” A shock ran down her spine and her mouth went dryer than she thought possible especially after drowning to death. She looked up and her eyes followed the woman’s steps. “The conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead. Except for you.”</p><p><em> “How ironic.” </em>She thought but the voice was silent in response. She was alone in her own thoughts now. </p><p>“If it makes you feel any better I’m pretty sure I didn’t do it.” The other woman raised an eyebrow at her response. The other one took a step forward and grabbed her wrist.</p><p>“Explain this.” Seeing the hand in front of her very eyes made her suck in a breath.</p><p>“What the hell is that?”</p><p>“That’s what we wanted to hear from you.” The other woman finally joined the riveting conversation. </p><p>“Well I’m very sorry but I have no idea what to tell you. One minute I was running through the woods, next I was drowning in a lake, and then I woke up somewhere green and then I found a glowing lady and when I touched her I ended up on the ground outside and I threw up next to some people dressed like these guys.” At that, she attempted to throw her thumb over to the guard whose sword was a little too close for comfort. </p><p>“That was me actually.” He pipped up quietly. The three women glanced over to him silently. “That found you.” </p><p>“Well, I’m very sorry for your compatriot that was so absolutely disgusted by my ‘bile’ as you called it.” </p><p>“He’s a queasy one.”</p><p>“Yeah, I bet.”</p><p>“Are you two quite finished?” The short-haired woman exclaimed causing the soldier to stand back at attention and silent. “How does your mark play into all of this?”</p><p>“I don’t know! I thought I had just caught my hand on the ice and scratched it. Now suddenly I’m in the middle ages and I have a glowing hand. SO if anything I think you might have a better idea of what is going on here than me.” </p><p>“You are LYING.” </p><p>“Cassandra-” the red-headed woman pulled her friend back from her charge. “We need her.” With her turned back to Jo sitting on her knees staring at her newly marked hand wondering what it could possibly be. It reminded her of...</p><p>“What is your name.” The quieter woman asked. With that, she raised her head and met her eyes. Her hand felt real. Everything that has happened so far felt real. She had never had a dream this vivid before and she was starting to think this really wasn’t some grand illusion. </p><p>“Just call me Aurora.” With that, she clutched her fist closed to hide the green light from view. </p><p>“Go to the forward camp Leliana. I will take her to the rift.” The woman seemingly named Cassandra said. With a simple nod to the other, the soldier's swords were sheathed, she found herself standing. </p><p>“Did... Did a bunch of people really die? What happened? What is going on?” </p><p>“It will be... Easier to show you.” Standing and walking away the newly dubbed Aurora glanced over her shoulder at the other soldiers and followed the other woman outside. </p><p>After making her way up a few sets of stairs and then into a very tall room reminiscent of a church they found their way to the giant set of double doors that she was really hoping lead outside. Before anything, she noticed the temperature. <em> “Well, at least it is winter here. Maybe I’m not that far away from home. Maybe this is a big misunderstanding.” </em></p><p>That’s when she felt like she was making eye contact with the sky. The pure power and magnitude of the Breach seemed to bend gravity to its whim with boulders the size of small skyscrapers adrift in its invisible grip. </p><p>“Is that-” She started to sputter out before pain surged through her hand and sent her to her knees yet again.</p><p>The pain, oh god the pain. She had never felt something as severe as it before. She had heard that child birth or being burned alive were the most pain someone could ever feel. She didn't know if this compared, but from her personal experience, it should. After convulsing in pain for a few moments Cassandra knelt beside her and removed her shackles away from her sore wrists. </p><p>“They call it the breach. It is a massive rift between our world and the next. With every passing hour, more demons appear and it expands larger.”</p><p>“Fucking demons? Are you shitting me? And you think <em>I</em> am related to that?” Aurora gasped out. </p><p>“Could you blame us?” The two of them both looked at her hand with worry and fear, though Aurora was showing it more clearly on her face. “It is not the only such rift, but it is the largest. It was caused by the explosion at the conclave.” </p><p>“Look I barely passed pre-calculus in high school and they made me retake algebra in college. I really do not have the technical know-how to make a pipe bomb let alone one that makes a rift in the freaking sky. I don't even think nukes can do that.” </p><p>“Unless we act, that breach will continue to grow until it swallows the entire world.” Cassandra firmly pressed. “Each time it expands your mark spreads. And it is killing you. Whether you think you are responsible or not, it is now your duty to save us, because you are the only one who can.”</p><p>“So I either die with all of you, or I die trying to save all of you? Those are my two options?”</p><p>“It is more options than the rest of us have.” They glared each other down for a few moments before Aurora broke the eye contact and looked off to the side to think, wringing her wrists. </p><p>“That is fair enough. Maybe this is my test to make it into a nice afterlife. Who knows. That's the only way any of this shit could make sense at this point.” She stood up slowly making sure to have steady footing. “Either way, let’s do our best I guess.” </p><p>“The Maker will look favorably upon you for fixing your mistakes if you are the one who has done this.” Cassandra said softly before turning around and starting to make their way again. Aurora took a step forward to follow before her foot faltered.</p><p>“Where are my clothes?”</p><p>“You were soaking when you came through the rift. You were changed by the sisters to keep you warm and provide you with more protection than what your clothes had would have.” </p><p>“Do you at least have my glasses?” Aurora took a few steps to catch up to the taller woman, and Cassandra swiveled to look over at her curiously. </p><p>“Those things that were on your face?”</p><p>“Yes!” Aurora clapped her hands together. “Would you happen to have them?” </p><p>“I am afraid after your fall through the rift they were cracked and saw that there was little use of them. They won't do you much help now.” </p><p>Crestfallen Aurora’s hands slowly lowered. “Oh... Right. Of course.” She sighed and rubbed her eyes knowing her headache was going to get progressively even worse from this moment on. “Fantastic.” She made her way to follow the woman towards the blasted thing, her boots from home walking down the snowy trail already packed down from other individuals' footsteps.  Cassandra slowed down to be able to walk next to her as they passed the villagers that watched their movements closely. </p><p>“They have decided of your guilt, they need it. The people of Haven mourn our most holy.” </p><p>
  <em> “Haven sounds close to heaven, another chip on the “Is This The Afterlife?” bingo card.” </em>
</p><p> “The conclave was Divine Justinia’s, head of the chantry.” rounding a corner farther away from the ears of the villagers she continued. “It was a chance for peace between the mages and templars. She brought their leaders together and now they are dead.” </p><p><em> “what the actual-" </em>Keeping in step with her captor or whatever, they reached a bridge that brought them closer to the rift than she was already comfortable with. There were people arguing, bickering, threatening each other. Even with there being screams off in the distance. Cassandra noticed her look. </p><p>“We lash out like the sky, but we must think beyond ourselves. Just as Justina did.” </p><p>Aurora stopped in her tracks not wanting to pass the men that were clearly moments away from brandishing their weapons. Cassandra grabbed her arm and made sure that it was her who walked on the side closer to the bickering soldiers. When they saw Cassandra and the prisoner they quickly found themselves standing to attention as they passed. Noticing that Aurora had not spoken for a while, Cassandra let out a sigh and let go of her arm. “I can promise you a trial. No more.” </p><p>Aurora was not really thinking about a trial at that moment. More along the lines of how she got into fantasy land and why she has to be the one with the big highlighter green toxic light show she had going on on her left hand. “Do you really think that if I wiggle my fingers at the giant hole in the sky I will be able to close it?”</p><p>“I am not certain. We must test it on something smaller.”</p><p>“Right. Okay.” <em>What the hell does that mean?  </em>“I am so excited to test it on something smaller.” Cassandra glared at her, Aurora tried to smile and thought she might look like a child on school picture day who didn’t want to be there. It was accurate at least.</p><p>After making it past a few excessively giant double doors that the Amazonian-like woman referred to as just “gates”, the rift started to become easier for her to see even if by a small margin. Once she started to see rocks falling from the sky she fell again to the pain spreading from her hand. </p><p>“The pulses are coming faster now. It really is a marvel amongst everything here, isn't it? All of the death, but for many it's our first time seeing the fade outside of dreams. It's horrifying but at the same time it is beautiful.” Cassandra spoke when she noticed Aurora’s eyes constantly fixated on either the ground or the rift itself. </p><p>“It.. really is.”</p><p>“MAKER WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.” a soldier yelled while retreating past them. There was a beat of silence.</p><p>“That’s assuring.” Aurora stated then started taking a much quicker stride into the direction of what felt like her 20th imminent doom in the past day. She cracked her neck, just about at her wit's end, as a small bubble of hysteria started to escape her lips. She moved past the scary woman before she could see the look she must have given her. </p><p>The hysteria was short-lived after the bridge they were crossing had been shot down from their feet after a giant rock came zooming down on the Rift Express (trademark pending). If that wasn’t good enough, the icing on the cake was a demon appearing before them from the same mode of transportation as the rock after they landed on the hard ice.</p><p>Cassandra stepped away drawing her sword to take care of the “demon” that was seemingly made of molten lava, while Aurora was staring down at the ice below her. There seemed to be deep cracks in the ice that stretched for many yards, it was very clearly thick and less prone to being broken but it still filled her with momentary fear.</p><p>Aurora's ear caught the sound of scratching and popping, bubbles of green started to appear in front of her that forced her to find her footing. Glancing to the side she saw that there was a staff with a rock on the end of it laying a few feet away seemingly abandoned. She quickly picked it up and was able to defend herself, albeit rustily. She was able to knock the monster back when Cassandra was able to stab it through the back and finish it. </p><p>“Drop the staff, mage.” Cassandra had the sword pointed towards Aurora with a look of dead certainty. </p><p>Aurora tried a small laugh to lighten the mood. “Wait are you serious? Magic isn’t real.” She blinked. Looked up towards the sky that looked like a lime's asshole. “Oh.” she glanced around a bit. “Well, I’m not... One. At least. A mage, or whatever. I just know how to use a stick. It's not like I could stab you with it or anything.. You have a whole ass sword. For some reason. Because you woke up one day and decided that was the most efficient weapon to use. I just have... a stick.” </p><p>Cassandra tilted her head to the side and lowered her sword. “Did you hit your head when you fell out of the Breach by chance?” She asked incredulously. When Aurora actually spent time thinking about it Cassandra let out a disgruntled noise then pinched the bridge of her nose. “The fate of our world rests on the hand of an amnesiac. Maker preserve us.” </p><p><em> “Amnesia. We can work with that.”  </em>But still she was met with only silence. The voice had remained extremely quiet since the sight of the rift. While she imagined others might be delighted to hear that she was no longer hearing that stupid voice in her head, it worried her. </p><p>“I don’t expect you to trust me, just understand I’m using it so that I can at least keep things off of me while you do the real fighting.” </p><p>“I can not always protect you, and I cannot expect you to be defenseless.” Pulling a small pack out from behind her were two red glass flasks. “Here take these, if you start to feel yourself become extremely injured these will help you stay alive.” </p><p>“Just a little something to take the edge off?” She tried to force out a chuckle. </p><p>“They are healing potions. Some of the last ones they had in the area, don’t make me regret giving them to you.” </p><p>She clutched them a little tighter in her hand suddenly very aware that wherever it was she was currently at, these things could help her from possibly dying a second time. Aurora muttered out a small thanks before throwing them in a loose pocket she could seal with a button in her pants. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everywhere Aurora looked there were bodies, Cassandra at one point recommended checking them over to see if they might have any extra armor she could equip. Though Aurora's stomach was just a bit too fragile to really do so. Some of them had been there clearly for hours and their bare skin was starting to attach to the frozen surfaces where they landed. But when Cassandra offered her some leather gloves she took off a body to at least fight off the cold, it became hard to refuse. A muttered thanks left her lips before she slipped them over her own hands. </p><p>They fit well, and she was sure it was just her imagination, but she thought it still felt warm. </p><p>After fighting off more lava monsters, ghosts the same annoying color as the giant Breach in the sky, as well as other creatures of destruction came through they had to keep fighting to get to the forward camp. At one point she took just a sip out of one of the potions, she watched as cuts across her started to stitch themselves together before her eyes leaving the faintest hint of a scar. <em> “As if the demons weren’t proof enough…” </em> she thought before tightening the sinch around her wrist. Despite the screaming going around them in almost every direction and the constant humming of the breach, it felt too quiet. She wanted to blame the snow for muffling sounds, but the lack of response she was so used to unnerved her. <em>“Where the hell are you?”</em></p><p>“We are getting close to the Breach, you can hear the fighting.”</p><p>“Who is it fighting? Your men?”</p><p>“Something like that.” Cassandra retorted as they reached the crest of a long flight of icy stairs that they miraculously didn’t snap their necks on. Ahead of them was a drop into a small stone courtyard that looks like it previously was a basement but the ceiling had collapsed. Nesting inside was a mix of demons, soldiers, and of course a miniature ball of green crystals that were jutting out at random floating about 15 feet off the ground. Because the Breach, on top of being horrible, also was a mother apparently. </p><p>“I’m going to be honest I really don’t like that.”</p><p>“You do not have to like it, we need to help those men.” </p><p>While Cassandra found herself easily leaping down with the power stance of a superhero, Aurora found herself much more comfortable using her stick to lesson her fall for the sake of her 23-year-old grandma knees. </p><p>Not being given any time to acquaint herself and her creaky body (which she would blame on sleeping on the stone floor later if she wasn’t dead by the end of the day), she was immediately thrown into the fray of fighting.</p><p>“Oh HOLY SHIT-” she screamed out as a slithering demon came towards her with a hood over its face. She used the end of the stick to upper-cut its chin and sent it reeling backward. It quickly lowered its head and looked ready to charge again when suddenly it had an arrow shaft through the middle of it. It looked down as Aurora was huffing in surprise, then it promptly disintegrated after getting an arrow through its head. Standing behind it was a man with blond hair partially tied back that only came up to about her chest. </p><p>“Well hello there stranger, first time-fighting?” his stumbled jaw shifted as he let out a smirk and then shot in her direction. She let out a short scream before she realized there was one behind her.</p><p>“O-..Oh. Thank you? And as of today kind of yes.” </p><p>“Really now? You look like you are a natural.” He jutted his head to the side. “Help out the bald one over there and I’ll try to keep them off the two of you.”</p><p>She nodded vigorously before looking around until her eyes landed on a man about a head and a half taller than her, which none of his height could he contribute to shoes or hair. She quickly ran over and against what felt right, used the staff more like a giant baseball bat, and sent one of the hunched over demons she had just fought earlier sprawling to the wall. The man she had come up to help turned to look at her quickly before a smile spread across his face despite the demons fighting their comrades around them. He took a step closer and she instinctively took one back. </p><p>“I will admit that is not a technique of fighting I am as familiar with.”</p><p>She readjusted how she was holding the staff so she was holding it more near the middle and angled out away from her to create a small barrier between the two of them. He tilted his head to the side staring at her for a moment clearly waiting for some sort of reply before the alarm in her head started to slow down a little. </p><p>“You don’t have shoes on.” She finally sputtered out. He blinked, looked down at his feet for a moment, and then she turned to rejoin the fight after she started to hear the short man laugh at her from a few yards away.</p><p>After they had managed to lessen the number of demons around them the bald man from before grabbed onto her wrist after she pushed one of the demons to Cassandra. </p><p>“Quickly! Before more come through!” And with that, he threw her hand out towards the miniature rift that they found themselves fighting against. A surge of light flew through her as it found its way directly to the crystals, it felt like boiling water was flowing through only the veins in her left arm. After what must have only been a few moments the rift found itself closed, and her hand was held against her chest. </p><p>“What the fuck did you just do?” she took a step away from the man and looked him up and down again, this time taking note of the large shape and pointiness of his ears. She found herself taking a moment to blink and then glanced at the shorter man catching up to them. He was bulky, didn’t seem to have a beard but clearly could grow one, and had the right facial features as far as she was concerned from what she knew of Tolkien. <em>“So now there are even fantasy races? Is this some kind of a ren fair afterlife that I was not given notice to on the way in?”</em></p><p>“I did nothing. The credit is yours.” He indicated his hand in general towards her and she stiffened her back. </p><p>“I feel like that is accusatory.” </p><p>He let out a short chuckle and glanced in the direction of the Breach. “Not in the least. I theorized that the magic that placed the mark upon your hand also was the one to create the Breach. And with that, that perhaps it could close rifts. And it seems I was correct.” </p><p>“Meaning it could also close the breach itself.” Cassandra finished cleaning off her blade before putting it back in its scabbard. </p><p>“Possibly.” He replied shortly before turning his attention back on the girl that was still staring at his ears. He smoothed out his wool shirt getting rid of any type of debris that might have landed on it. Her eyes being re-directed she found herself drawn to a jaw bone almost blackened that he was wearing a necklace. “It seems that you may hold the key to our salvation.”</p><p>“Damn you say all of that, and hold my hand on the same day? Aren’t you supposed to take me out to dinner first? I feel like that would be a lot less pressure than having to close a giant freaking hole in the sky.” She muttered shaking her hand out.</p><p>“Is that all it took? One non-mage stranger wielding a staff to save the whole world? Good to know, thought we would be ass deep in demons forever... And by the way, the smooth dialogue is supposed to come from me, stranger.” The dwarven man sauntered up while holding a crossbow the size of his torso. </p><p>“What could your name be then?” She turned to face him. </p><p>“Varric Tethras” He spoke with such ease and confidence, it was easy to see that he has had more than his fair share of chances to make a grand introduction. “Rouge, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcomed tag along.” At the last descriptor, he shot a wink at Cassandra who made a noise of disgust and started to inspect the fallen men. </p><p>“Well, I think I might have taken that last position from you. At least you are actually useful in a fight.” She shrugged and fiddled with the ragged undershirt that the “sisters” must have changed her into. </p><p>“Oh don’t humble yourself. You don’t sound like you are from around here and you say you only picked up on it today. Not to mention without that mark on your hand I’m sure all of us would easily be dead by now.” Varric moved his crossbow over his shoulder into a holster. </p><p>“If I didn’t cause it.” She muttered to herself. </p><p>“If introductions are to be in order.” The pale man to her right spoke up again after he watched over Cassandra checking the fallen men. “My name is Solas. I am pleased to see that you still live.” </p><p>“He means that he kept that mark from killing you while you slept” Varric glanced up at the elf. </p><p>“Thanks, could you have convinced them to give me a bed? What's the point of being alive if I develop scoliosis?” She tried a chuckle and rubbed her knuckles along her back to emphasize. </p><p>“You can thank me after you have sealed the breach and lived through it. I’m sure there will be a better option after you save all our lives.” She pointed her staff towards Solas and responded deadpan.</p><p>“If I live through this I will steal your bed personally.”</p><p>“Unfortunately for you, just as how I do not wear shoes, I in the past few days have also kept my body to the ground.” He smirked down at the woman</p><p>“Not even a bed to steal, what a shame.” Varric placed one of his legs up on a rock and looked over his hand. “Never caught your name Sparkler.” </p><p>“Me?” She pointed to herself. </p><p>“He does that.” Cassandra threw over her shoulder. </p><p>“You can just call me Aurora.”</p><p>“So it's not your real name then?” He bantered.</p><p>“Sparklers isn’t either,” she retorted. </p><p>"You're right, that doesn't fit quite right." The dwarf grew a smile. “I like this one Seeker. Bianca does too.” </p><p>“Who is Bianca?” Aurora shifted her eyes over to Cassandra. </p><p>“Only just the best crossbow to ever reach the surface.” He looked over his shoulder to the weapon placed against his back. “Bianca and I have been through a lot together.” </p><p>“You named your crossbow Bianca?” </p><p>“Of course, and she will be a great help to you in the valley.”</p><p>“Absolutely not.” Cassandra seemed to finish checking the state of the soldiers and made her way towards the dwarf. Aurora was starting to notice a trend when it came to chances of mortality in this place. “Your help is appreciated Varric but-”</p><p>“Have you been in the Valley lately, Seeker? Your people aren’t in control anymore. You need me.” He tilted his head as there seemed to be a change in power dynamics between the two. </p><p>Aurora glanced at the bodies all around them and Solas seemed to notice that she was starting to turn white. “Cassandra, you should know that the magic here is unlike any I have ever seen. Indeed your prisoner is no mage, though I find any mage not having the power to do something like this.” </p><p>“Understood.” Cassandra nodded in respect to the elf’s heeding words. “We must get to the forward camp quickly.”</p><p>Aurora found herself leaning against her staff as the others started to make their way forward with only a small glance back from Solas. Varric found his way to stand next to Aurora noticing that she wasn’t taking any steps forward. </p><p>“Well, Bianca’s happy.” </p><p>“That makes one of us.”</p><p>“Come on, this will be fun, I promise.” he mused as he pushed at the base of her back to get her moving. </p><p>“I think our definitions of fun differ.” </p><p>“Most likely!” he responded making sure to take the point in the back. “Oh make it two. I am also going to enjoy this." He grinned watching as another story started to take shape around him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! I know in the beginning I am following the game pretty closely. As time goes on it will start to take its own shape with separate dialogues and such. I just wanted to keep the same base in the beginning in case anyone I know reads it and doesn't know much about the world. Thank you so much for reading the first chapter! I have the entire story planned out and have been working on the story for almost 2 years so its exciting to actually start publishing. I hope you stick around for the rest! Thank you &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the four of them made their way past more demons than you would see at a local bar on a Saturday, and a second rift, they found themselves at the gate before the forward camp that Cassandra had mentioned. </p><p>Having used up both of her potions already, Aurora was covered in burn marks and felt a gigantic bruise growing on her side after having been slammed onto the ground during one of the fights. She had gone a bit quieter the last bit of traveling but Varric seemed invested at this point to keep egging her on. </p><p>“You see that crate over there?” He indicated off to the side “It should have some extra potions in it for the traveling soldiers. Go grab a few more, me and Solas here are good.” She nodded silently and knelt down to get a look at everything in there. There were blue potions, a few green ones, a large portion of them were red. A little scared as to what the others were she just pocketed a few of the health potions and took a swig out of another. </p><p>With that she felt her side instantly start to release in pressure and her mind became more calm and sharper. After a moment of getting her bearings, she noticed she heard more yelling, this time with Cassandra and Leliana both involved. </p><p>“..-And I will not allow it.” They all stopped speaking as soon as the three of them caught up. The man who had just spoken had an ill-kept shaven face, very large dark brows, and eyes that seemed to flit from person to person as if they all were worthy of disdain. </p><p>“Chancellor Rodrick this is-” Leliana started</p><p>“I know who she is.” He almost sneered, landing his gaze finally on Aurora. </p><p>“Oh really? What’s my name.” Aurora crossed her arm and looked across the table at the man. </p><p>“Your name does not matter! As a chancellor of the chantry I demand you send this woman to Val Royeaux immediately to face execution.” </p><p>“Order me?” Cassandra’s voice dropped deep into repugnance “You are nothing but a glorified clerk. A bureaucrat.”</p><p>“And you are a thug, a thug that supposedly serves the chantry.” he Chancellor retorted. As the two of them kept going at it Aurora turned to Varric.</p><p>“Can he even say that?” She whispered to him.</p><p>“Not without regretting it.”</p><p>“Justinia is DEAD!” Rodrick exclaimed, bringing the others back to attention. “We must elect her replacement and obey her orders.”</p><p>“Wait, so does that mean that none of you are actually in charge?” She blurted out, probably shouldn’t have, but did. </p><p>“Everyone who was in charge died because of you!” The clerk exploded.</p><p>“How about we take a few breaths together I think that would be a great idea-”</p><p>“I do NOT need breathing exercises! What we need is you in jail and a new divine.” </p><p>“One thing at a time man those are some pretty big requests.” The more she spoke the more it looked like his head was going to pop out of his hood and hat right over the bridge they were standing on. She reveled in it.</p><p>Cassandra took a small step forward clearly trying to bring the attention back onto her. “I believe that the prisoner is innocent, or at the very least in shock and cannot remember what happened.” Aurora peaked over her shoulder and was nodding. “She has done what she can to get through the fights and she is coming willingly. We need to do what we can, and use her help to close the breach and all of the rifts along our path.”</p><p>“As if this- this- apostate actually has any issues getting through all of this. They practically live in the fade half the time. They should be used to demons.”</p><p>“With all do respect Chancellor you should not speak of things you don’t know of.” Solas interjected cooly. “Every mage is an apostate now. Something you should be aware of going forward.” </p><p>“Yeah don’t talk to our apostate like that.” Aurora jutted her thumb to Solas on her left. “I’ve seen him swing that thing, he knows what he is doing.” </p><p>“He was speaking of you.” Cassandra huffed. “The prisoner is not a mage, Rodrick. She found a staff when we were along the road and has been using it as a weapon without magic.” </p><p>“This is all ridiculous, call a retreat Seeker, we cannot risk the lives of everyone on this prisoner who cannot even properly defend herself.” The Chancellor rested his hands on the table leaning towards the woman facing him down. </p><p>“No,” she responded dignantly “we can stop this before it is too late.” </p><p>“How? You cannot manage to get to the temple even with all your soldiers.” </p><p>“We can get through to the temple through the valley. It is the quickest route.”</p><p>“But not the safest.” Leliana stepped forward then turned in the direction just to the side of the breach. “Our soldiers can charge while we take a path through the mountains.”</p><p>“We lost contact with an entire squad on that path, it's too risky.” </p><p>“Listen to me, abandon this now before more lives are lost.” The Chancellor almost pleaded. </p><p>At that Aurora felt the now familiar sting coming from her left hand. “Oh for fucks sake!” She screamed out as her arm started to tremble uncontrollably and the sky rippled out once more. Solas placed a hand on her shoulder as it shook through her and he watched her closely. She felt some healing energy slowly seep through his hand into her and she nodded to him in thanks. Cassandra looked from his hand to her face.</p><p>“How do you think we should proceed?” </p><p>“Oh- no thank you. I don’t like responsibility.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why do you all keep forcing me to have responsibility.” Aurora huffed as they were making their trek to the main valley on the way to the temple. “I understand you all think I might be responsible for all of this but come on-”</p><p>They made their way up more hills, through more demons, and one of them managed to actually snap her staff in half. And against what she would have liked she ended up having to take a weapon off a soldier that they passed. She wasn’t religious, but she hoped that they forgave her for taking it. </p><p>"I cannot recall you saying where you hail from.” Solas asked in step next to her at one point. She looked up for a second at him while messing with the string on her bow. The soldier had about 8 or so arrows left in the quiver when they picked it up and they had been slowly finding more as they walked. Cassandra was against it at first but she assured her that she had some experience with it. Varric had started throwing a bunch of tips her way about thinking about the wind and such when she was shooting. She reassured him that she was going to try and be a bit closer before she shot. “Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes.” She quoted and laughed to herself. “That’s pretty sound advice actually.” Which reminded her that she was not in America anymore so why the hell would anyone here know a stupid quote from the American revolution. </p><p>“I didn’t.” She responded while throwing the bow onto her back. He looked at her closely. </p><p>“Cassandra said you might be in shock but you seem to be handling everything considerably well… Was there any other reasoning as to why she might think that?” The thunk of his staff hitting the ground as they walked made her miss her own. </p><p>Luckily for her they managed to reach where they needed to at just that time. Cassandra immediately ran into battle as there was another rift spilling out monsters. Aurora focused on her breathing and Varric encouraged her up to the platform. He was calling out different targets to focus on and how to properly watch the battle field. </p><p>“I would think that you were in the military or something as well Varric.” She said while aiming but continued after releasing. “If it weren't of course for the way that you speak, dress, and of course just who you are in general.” He laughed before letting go of a large bolt that hit a demon in the face.</p><p>“I found my way around a battle or two. Cassandra could tell you all about it herself. That or you could read my book.” She looked over at him and lit up.</p><p>“Oh my god you are an author? That's so cool! I reiterate why the hell are you here then?” She turned her attention back to the battle as Solas ran out from behind them to get a better vantage point on the field. At that same time she shot an arrow at one of the demons that just came out of the rift. </p><p>“You need to get life experience before you can have anything good to write about. Then you just have to twist it a little. As I am incredibly prone to fabricating lies, it comes quite easily to me.” </p><p>“Wait, how do I even know you are a real author then-'' At that she let loose an arrow that she had nocked. She realized her mistake and saw it plink off the wall right next to a blond man’s face. He shield bashed a demon off of him and then followed the direction of where the arrow came from right to Aurora covering her mouth with her hand and Varric laughing his ass off. </p><p>“I think you might just need to believe me. And you may want to think about believing in the maker for when the Commander comes for you.” </p><p>“God fucking damnit.” She looked away from the Commander and nocked another arrow.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” Varric looked down the sights of Bianca. “He deserves it.” </p><p>After the battle was done and she had run down to help close the rift, she noticed the commander walking up to speak with Cassandra. She turned the other direction and scratched the back of her head planning on maybe just going forward before Cassandra called her over</p><p>“It is not me who you should be thanking Commander, it is the prisoner’s doing.”</p><p>“Shit.” She said to herself before turning around faking a smile. “Hello sir how are you today.” She tried in an almost customer service voice. It caught him a bit off guard and he raised an eyebrow. </p><p>“This is Commander Cullen. The prisoner here’s name is Aurora. He was explaining to us the situation ahead at the temple.”</p><p>“It’s not good, that much I can tell you.” He shifted on his hips for a moment before looking over his soldiers. “They have done what they can but the demons are endless, there is only so much we can do with our numbers declining by the minute. But the way to the temple should be clear, Leliana will meet you there as soon as she can” At that he looked back at Aurora who was still avoiding his gaze. </p><p>“I’m sorry I almost hit you… I didn’t mean to if it makes you feel any better.” He continued staring at her as she had almost shot an arrow through his cranium, he let out a short surprised chuckle before sighing and shaking his head. </p><p>“For the sake of the other soldiers, grab a sword and heater why don’t you. Might hurt less people that way. I just hope they are right about you, we lost a lot of people getting you here.”</p><p>She understood but was crestfallen.<em> “Three weapons in one day this is just embarrassing.”  </em></p><p>“It's not like I’m bad at using a bow, I just was distracted.” She tried, Varric just started shaking his head to indicate that she should probably stop. She trailed off and decided to shut up. </p><p>“Do you have any training for what you could use instead?” The commander tried, she shook her head in response.</p><p>“I only really know hand to hand, bow, bo, and a few other weapons that I don’t see anyone here really using...” She trailed off, they were all kind of giving her a look before she saw one of his soldiers struggling to retreat. “Go, we’ll continue on.” She indicated her head towards the soldier. </p><p>He looked her over again and nodded. “Maker watch over you for all our sakes.” </p><p>“And also with you...”<em> Dumb. That was the defintion of dumb.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Do temples usually look like this?” </p><p>“Before or after they have been blown up? I have some first hand experience with both.” Varric chimed in as they stepped closer to where the Breach was originating from. </p><p>“The Temple of Sacred Ashes…” Cassandra sighed forlornly. </p><p>“Or what appears to be left of it.” Solas said standing next to the others. “We should make our way in, close the breach and quickly.” Cassandra nodded to him and continued on, everyone started to follow but Aurora’s steps slowed and Solas took notice and paused as well. </p><p>There were burnt bodies all around them. Some like stone still on their knees almost like they were pleading with the sky. Others looked as if they were just screaming. She closed her eyes trying to get the image of it out of her mind. Solas stood next to her and took notice. “What is it you are thinking?” He spoke softly. </p><p>“I’m thinking that I’m not getting paid enough for this.” She tried to laugh off but he held his gaze and she could not meet it. She knew that wasn’t just it. She took a breath and tried to ground herself for a minute. She thought about the drink she took at that party, how the chain of events landed her here. <em> “This is all Rebecca’s fault.” </em>She thought to herself jokingly, but she also kind of wished to blame it all on someone.</p><p>“I don’t know what happened.” She finally admitted, and with that looked at the closest burnt body near her, somehow they still were slightly on fire. “One moment I was somewhere completely different-” her voice faltered, what an under exaggeration that was. “And now I am here. And everyone thinks that I caused this, and now I need to die to fix someone else's mistake.” </p><p>Solas’s breathing stopped for a moment before it resumed his deep slow breaths. “I happen to know you are not responsible.” She looked up at him and the corners of his mouth were tilted up. “No one without magic would be capable of creating such an explosion. Not to mention after the little time I have known you I don’t think you would.” </p><p>Aurora managed a little smile at that. “Maybe you can speak on my behalf at my trial if I survive this, if I even get a trial.” </p><p>“I think the Seeker would skin anyone personally who wanted to execute you without trial.” He mused, encouraging her to keep walking forward. </p><p>“I see her more as a beheading type person.” She choked out and then attempted a laugh again. “Or maybe she can just look at them and scare them.”</p><p>“How much of a blessing it would be if she could glare at the Breach and it would simply close.” He looked off to the distance where Cassandra and Varric were waiting for them. He gave her a light smile before slightly indicating the direction ahead of them. “Shall we?” </p><p>“You kept me alive after I fell through right?”</p><p>“That is correct.”</p><p>“Please do it again.”</p><p>“I shall try my best.” He curled his hands around his staff closer to his body and then they walked forward to meet with the others. </p><p> </p><p>Saying the place was blown up did not even come close to the true decimation it had received. For something that had been standing a few days earlier with the weight of all of its history in its arches, in mere moments it had been reduced to scattered stones and chips of objects that no longer held recognizable forms. She thought about how for the past few years of her life she would do anything just to stay in her small studio apartment and avoid anything and everything, ignore calls, decline invitations, and never look at anything besides her wall. Now she had the killer of hundreds if not thousands of people staring down at her from the sky above, and she felt the pull of her hand towards it. She was connected to this in some way, no matter how much she didn’t want to be. </p><p>“That breach is a long way up,” Varric spoke while turning to truly get a good look at everything. </p><p>She let out a shaky breath, the oxygen did not feel like it was reaching her brain. </p><p>“Cassandra! You are all here, thank the Maker.” Behind them Leliana had caught up to them after taking the way through the mountain. She had extra men with her than they had left with. <em> “Good, they did find that scouting group then. That’s one good thing to happen today” </em> </p><p>“Commander Cullen and his men were pushing back against a rift when we arrived, we barely made it through.” Cassandra informed Leliana as she got closer. </p><p>“More like he barely did.” Varric said under his breath which received a strong glare from Aurora. </p><p>“Leliana, have your men take up positions around the temple.” Cassandra pointed to the areas with high ground around the open area beneath the breach, albeit there were not many left. As soon as the others started to run to positions Cassandra turned to face Aurora. “This is your chance to end this, are you ready?” </p><p>Her mouth didn’t want to move at first. “I can’t jump high enough to reach the top cupboard usually. I don’t know how I’m supposed to reach that thing…”</p><p>“This is the first one, it is the key. If you close this rift-” Solas pointed to the glowing ball of crystals that were floating about two or three stories off the ground, still decently out of reach but significantly closer than the breach in the sky itself. “-it should be the one that closes the Breach.”</p><p>Aurora took a few steps forward so she had her hands rested upon one of the last railings in the place. From their view the rift was about eye level. “Let us make our way down, carefully.” Cassandra spoke from off to the side. </p><p>“What if I just tried to close it from here?” She turned her head to gauge Solas's reaction.</p><p>"It would be safer to open it from an area you cannot fall from, we should get to the lowest area." </p><p>"Unless you want to die from just falling off of the balcony, though I must admit it would be pretty anticlimactic." Varric grinned then pulled Bianca off of his back. </p><p>“Oh no, of course, don't want that." She glanced down at the dwarf. "Just promise me that when you make this short time you have known me into a novella: sign a copy and bury me with it.”</p><p>“You’ve got it.” He grinned. </p><p>Starting the descent down, they had to loop their way around the crater to get to an easier access point. There were rocks glowing with green veins through them, the same color as the breach. She let out a short nervous laugh before turning away from it and continuing on their way. As she turned a voice echoed across the crater. </p><p><em> “Now is the hour of our victory.” </em> The voice was gravelly and sounded old. It was not necessarily really deep but still, she felt it in her chest like a heavy base. She looked around to make sure it wasn’t just her who was hearing it. To her relief, the others had also stopped walking and took a horrified pause. <em> “Bring forth the sacrifice.” </em></p><p>“..What are we hearing?” Cassandra was the first to speak after everyone froze, no one was looking at each other.</p><p>“At a guess? The person who created the breach.” Solas responded evenly. Aurora turned her head to him.</p><p>“So it wasn’t me then. This isn’t my fault.” She said excitedly. </p><p>“We do not know that yet.” Cassandra replied coolly. </p><p>“Come on Seeker, she doesn’t seem the type to be able to drop her voice that much.” Varric walked backwards towards where they were going. “But if she can I am ready to hear it.” After the few steps backwards he turned and then immediately stopped walking. Aurora caught up to him and followed the direction of his unblinking eyes. </p><p>“Is that even more abnormal?” She asked him, carefully trying not to startle him. Before the stones only had veins of the green light pulsing in it, as if the Breach was spreading into the ground as well as the sky. What he was looking at was pure red, it even had a glowing aura around it that was steeped in the same shade. The longer she looked at it she could have sworn that she was starting to hear a ringing in her ear. </p><p>“Its red lyrium.” He stated it as a fact, but it was filled with deep distraughtness that he didn’t even attempt to hide. Aurora turned to Cassandra who appeared on her right. </p><p>“I see it as well, Varric.”</p><p>“But what is it <em> doing </em> here?” He stressed and turned to look at the others. </p><p>“Magic from the breach could have drawn upon the lyrium beneath the temple, corrupted it…” Solas offered. </p><p>“Is the Breach some kind of magnet?” She furrowed her eyebrows. “How does that even make sense? It would have had to draw it up through other rock or stuff to get here. If anything you would think it would mess with gravity or something with the way it is messing with the atmosphere.” </p><p>“I’m not sure how the science behind this magic works. It was simply the best I could offer.”</p><p>“I understand. Thank you.” She replied.</p><p>“It's evil, whatever you do. Just don’t touch it.” Varric spit out, turning his gaze from it.</p><p><em> “Keep the sacrifice still.” </em> The voice rang out again. Again their feet stuck to the ground.</p><p><em> “Someone- Help me!” </em> A second voice rang out in response. Cassandra’s eyes widened.</p><p>“That was divine Justinia’s voice!”</p><p>“Was she a sacrifice in all of this?” Aurora asked and turned to Solas and Cassandra. Solas looked like he was going to respond when the Seeker took off towards the end of their path. </p><p>“Seeker wait!” Varric's voice rang out. The others followed her and dropped down into the bottom layer in the crater. Looking up they could all see how much bigger the crystals forming and deforming on the rift were compared to the other rifts that they have dealt with. Its aura surrounding the crystals was reaching across the entire crater like it was caressing its poison into everything surrounding it. Aurora’s hand lit up again, it stung but it wasn’t as bad as before. </p><p><em> “Someone help me-” </em> The voice rang out again. </p><p>
  <em> “Whats going on here?” </em>
</p><p>“Wait a minute..” Cassandra said to herself, they all turned to look at her. “I recognize that voice as well.” Varric opened his mouth as if to ask her, when suddenly the rift’s aura seemed to spread away like pepper in water when you put dish soap on your finger. Slowly before them formed the figure of an extremely tall individual and another floating with her arms outstretched with them encaged in some kind of fiery shackles. Their voices all rang out again repeating what they had said before. But at the last moment, a man that Aurora had never seen before stepped out from the nothing and took shape.</p><p><em> “What’s going on here?” </em> His voice rang out again. </p><p>“That is Maxwell Trevelyan.” Cassandra said stepping forward. “He must have-”</p><p><em> “Run while you can! Warn them!” </em> The divine’s voice rang out and everyone in the desecrated temple understood what the warning could have meant. </p><p><em> “We have an intruder, kill him.” </em>The taller one’s voice rang out suddenly there was a large flash of green, all of the phantoms the rift created turned to look before everything drowned out in a bright green flash. </p><p>“You-” Cassandra’s voice rang out in front of them. Aurora looked down from that spot in the sky and saw the woman charging. Her eyes widened and she took a few steps back before Cassandra was on top of her grabbing her by the straps on her shoulders. “Where were you? Is this vision true? Were you with them?” </p><p>“How could I know?!” Aurora yelled back at her. “I’ve never seen those people before in my life!” Cassandra was filling with fury before Varric pushed in between them.</p><p>“Stand down Seeker, can’t you see she is as freaked out as the rest of us?” Cassandra looked down at the dwarf, clearly regretting that she kept him along for this long. </p><p>“All I know is what that scene showed us.” Aurora shifted the breastplate she had on back in place on her chest. “I don’t like this, and you don’t have to like it either. But just know that at least you are going to be able to walk away from this. So maybe in my last few moments, you could not rough me up.” Aurora huffed. “I get it. Justina was your friend and you cared about her. But I had nothing to do with this. And you are just going to have to believe me.” </p><p>“It was an echo of what happened here.” Solas said calmly, clearly trying to change the subject. “The fade bleeds into this place.” </p><p>“I keep hearing people say that, is it like a spirit world or something? Is that how demons are able to get through? But how do they even have a physical form?” Aurora asked, turning to him. </p><p>“You don’t even know of the fade? I was sure that it was widespread knowledge across Thedas.” He furrowed his eyebrows and stared at her as hard as he did when he first saw her. </p><p>“We can deal with all of this later. We need to get done with this.” Cassandra stated firmly. </p><p>Aurora looked down then. Everyone seemed in a rush to do this, while she understood it also didn’t feel great. She knew that the men Leliana brought with her were looking down on them, waiting for the moment this all goes sideways. Why did she fear death when she was so certain she had already died. If she died near this rift would she enter this fade as well? What even was it? She turned her head and glared at the raven-haired woman for a moment.<em> “It's not like she would give me the time to ask.” </em>She thought, sighing. With that she closed her eyes and thought hard. <em> “Out of all of the times I’ve wanted you to leave, why do you leave when for once I actually want you here?” </em> She waited a few moments and when she heard nothing she opened her eyes resigned. </p><p>“The rift is not sealed but it is closed... Albeit temporarily. I believe with the mark that the rift can be opened and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side.” Solas said to the Seeker who nodded. </p><p>“That means demons. Stand ready!” Cassandra turned to look at the men looking from above. She started yelling out orders and Leliana was checking on everyone as well. Men made their way down to the ground area that they were on with their swords and shields taking point around the rift. The two men came up to Aurora as she had her back to the rift. She could just barely see the outline of mountains around them through the clouds and smoke and lack of glasswear.</p><p>“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to look at it either.” Varric took place next to her and stared up at the outline of the horizon. She continued gazing up at them.</p><p>“How far out does it go?” He glanced up at her questioningly. “Past the mountains, how big is everything?” She didn’t know exactly why she was asking him.</p><p>“Well in that direction.. There is the Dales, Orlais, the Anderfells, past that a bunch of areas the common person doesn't bother with much.” He turned completely around and pointed. “This way we have the dog infested country of Ferelden,” threw a thumb to the side “The wilds, you do not want to go there.” And then he turned to the last direction. “And that would be just about everything else. Tevinter, Nevarra, Antiva, Revain, the Qun’s land, and my glorious personal homestead the Free Marches.” She followed his direction for all of his pointing and then he turned around back to face her. “I say glorious but if you know what is good for you I wouldn’t visit.” </p><p>“If I get through all of this we are going.” </p><p>“As long as you’ve got me at your side you’ll be safe. Don’t worry.” he winked then made his way back towards the rift. She watched after him and saw that most of the men were in formation and Cassandra was once again impatiently waiting for her. </p><p>“The world is a big one these days.” Solas chimed from a few feet off. “There are people you don’t know counting on you. Are you sure you want to do this?” He tilted his head, waiting for an answer that he already knew.</p><p>“It's not a question on if I want to but if I can.” </p><p>“But if you could accomplish your task without doubt, it was merely a matter of deciding what is worth sacrificing. Would you still make this decision?” he wasn’t blinking. </p><p>“I won’t let people die just for me to be selfish.” </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Despite Varric’s claim that with him by her side she would be safe, that didn’t seem to stop him and just about everyone else from getting knocked on their ass pretty early into the fight. </p><p>She knew it wasn’t their fault per se, but dammit she thought these people could handle themselves at least. She had done all this preparing with the idea that she would be the one to die yet somehow she was one of the few left actually standing. </p><p>Aurora noticed that when she ripped open the rift that it seemed to stun the giant two stories tall pride demon that had a <em> fun </em>amount of extra eyes. It was nice to have a break from his not BDSM friendly electric whips that seemed to drop everyone like flies. She was reminded that despite any training that she might have received in the past, it was 100% her dodging skills from dodgeball back in school that was keeping her alive at this point. And that was aggravating. Luckily there was a thick pillar that she was usually able to outrun the demon around to help get some of the other fighters back up.</p><p>Cassandra was easy to get up as long as she wasn’t unconscious. She had a really strong ability to seemingly out of nowhere buff herself like she was made of armor. Varric always had a fun remark after getting up, and Solas was currently being a little bitch that couldn’t wake up.</p><p>The seeker and dwarf were on their last leg trying to keep the demon distracted while she was trying to wake Solas back up. “Come on dude, seriously. We kind of need a mage right now.” She was shaking his shoulders and felt frustrated about feeling like she was in the first Shrek movie with even more at stake. She saw the demon turn its gaze towards her and the elf, she felt panic set in. They were all nearing the end of their health potions, <em>"Oh god we are fucked."</em> Not knowing what else to do, she drew her hand back and smacked the man across the face as hard as she could. His eyes opened right away and he was already sitting up and he looked at her. </p><p>"Was that necessary?!" He questioned.</p><p>“Sorry to take you out of your happy place baldy but we are dying and you aren’t allowed to die first, I called it.” She said before quickly running out of the way as the pride demon decided to chase her again. She supposed she should be grateful that it liked chasing her so much because she could dodge a lot easier than the others but Jesus H Christ. First, her adventure started when she decided it might be okay to leave the apartment once, and it ended with a twenty-foot tall demon with horns and electricity powers hunting her ass like a trophy. </p><p>It took more loops around the pillar than she could count, more tears on the rift to stun it than her hand felt comfortable with, and way too many of the normal-sized demons ( if you could call them that) coming out to protect its dad or what-the-fuck-ever. But after what felt like an hour the pride demon fell to its knees, then face, and then didn’t get back up. Cassandra, the soldiers all around them that still held onto their lives, pleaded with her to quickly close the rift. She took in everything and everyone waiting for her to finally complete this last task they expected from her, to finally end this curse that someone else had plagued them with. She didn’t understand, but she knew she didn’t have to. </p><p>She turned away from everyone’s eyes and thrust her hand in the direction of the rift, felt the immense power coming from both her hand and the object of destruction. After a few moments, she heard someone yell, and then everything went dark again. </p><p> </p><p>“<em>I can’t believe you would do this- after all that we have been through how could you betray me like this, betray all of us.” </em></p><p> </p><p>It seemed like lately every time that Aurora joined the land of the living it felt like she was run over by a truck. And didn’t do her the honor of backing up and finishing the job. </p><p>A soft groan left her mouth as grabbed her throbbing head. As soon as she moved there was a loud bang as it sounded like something hit the floor. Jolting up she looked around and noticed an elven woman standing near the entrance of the room. </p><p>“Maker! I am so sorry, Seeker Pentgast said to tell her when you were awake right away. Right away she said!” And just as quickly as she saw her the woman with her choppy hair was out of the door. Aurora was left there staring at the door in confusion. </p><p>The room around her was all wood outside of the fireplace and the ground. There were minimal decorations that inclined her to think that this was not actually a home for someone. There were no other beds in the room, mostly just a few chests, chairs, and a dresser. Swinging her feet off the side of the bed she felt how cold the floor was and recoiled for a moment before settling them down a second time. Everything was still pretty blurry from her lack of glasses as well as the feeling of exhaustion. It was quiet in the one-roomed cabin and it still seemed dim out, whether that was because of the sun entering or exiting or simply from an overveil of clouds she was not certain. </p><p>She slouched over and rested her head in her hands as a wave of nausea and pain-racked through her. <em> “Is this because of that damn mark?” </em>She thought, it didn’t hurt her head before. While rubbing her temples with her fingers she thought over the events that she could remember and it was decently spotty. <em> “What the hell?” </em> </p><p>Opening her eyes she took a shaky step to stand and walked her way towards the fireplace. Walking around the chair that was facing away from her she gasped and instantly fell to her knees before it. Her clothes that she had fallen through the ice with were folded and neatly placed on the chair. Her eyes started to get misty as she lifted her round silver framed glasses. The left lens was cracked all the way through with a part of it missing, the right lens was okay but it had little use without the others. Letting out a groan she placed her forehead against the chair and closed her eyes again. She placed them on the other chair and then sat up to look at what else was salvageable. Her jeans were in good condition and the thick long-sleeved shirt she had with her had a rip in it that tore up the side. She stood up and held it up to herself. It might show the side of her stomach a little bit but if she got a needle and thread it would be okay. She closed her eyes and buried her face in it. </p><p>The shirt did not smell the same way that it used to. It was almost devoid of smell, not having been washed by any detergent that she recognized. She was disappointed that it did not smell like her, but at least she had them and that much she was grateful for. She let out a slow breath and saw her shoes and socks resting near the fire and finally let out a smile. “I may be stuck in medieval whatever but at least I can have some damn good shoes.” she muttered to herself while pulling on her socks and shoes. She felt secure and strong in dark combat boots that were half off at.. somewhere, but she doubted anyone here would care about that fact. She glanced then to the box that was dropped by the elf and took a look inside, there were a few plants that she didn’t recognize. But she thought back to when a dwarf- Varric, right, had told her to pocket anything she thought could help her when she was grabbing those potions back at the place on the bridge. Then promptly stuffed them into the pockets of the clothes that someone must have dressed her in.</p><p>The elven woman said that the Seeker would want to see her, she didn’t want to wait around for the woman to find her so she decided to go out and look for herself. Inching open the door she took a glance outside. There were a surprising amount of people out than she thought, but they were hushed even while bartering with the merchant nearby. It was starting to grow lighter so she figured it was in fact dawn. But after taking a step outside someone noticed her stepping outside and they all started hitting each other and whispering until they were all facing her direction. She froze in place like a deer until the door slammed shut behind her and strartled her. The movement caused many to shuffle off to the side and many fell to their knees. It was quiet besides a few murmurs amongst them. </p><p>“That must be the herald-”</p><p>“The Herald of Andraste-”</p><p>“They say Andraste herself was watching over her when she fell through the rift-”</p><p>“I thought she would be taller-”</p><p>She looked at all of them and slowly made her way forward. None of them made a move to stop or interrupt her. The snow crunched softly under her boots as she made her way past the other cabins and the wooden spiked walls. After ascending a small flight of stairs with stone dogs on each side she saw a tall building in the back with high peaked ceilings. She wandered for a while not finding anyone familiar but took note of where some of the relevant buildings were to explore later if she had the chance. The scenery was filled with hills and bright snow everywhere she looked. She really had lived, it was not something she was anticipating. The rising sun unfortunately was making her headache worse and her wish to find Cassandra increased, she was having a hard time processing anything the people were saying around her. </p><p>Stepping into the church looking building, or as the others around her were calling it a chantry, she started to hear people yelling on the other side of the door at the end of the great hall. All of the voices she had come accustomed to, though one she was not particularly excited about. She took a moment to take in the room lit soely by candles and how warm it felt compared to the outside. For a building made of stone, it felt much more homey than she expected. But when she reached the other end she closed her eyes and leaned against the wall to take a breather as to let the pounding in her head subside. </p><p>“The prisoner failed Seeker-” Rodrick “-The breach is still in the sky, for all you know she intended it this way.” She came to a little bit hearing that and looked down at her hand. Was it not enough? Did it not close because she didn’t die? Or vice versa? </p><p>“I do not believe that.” Cassandra’s strong voice came through the wooden door like a stake in the ground. </p><p>“That is not for you to decide. Your duty is to serve the Chantry.” </p><p>“My duty is to serve the purpose on which the Chantry was founded. As is yours.” It went silent for a moment and Aurora took the chance to make her grand entrance, by knocking politely. The door was opened a moment later by Leliana whose eyes widened. </p><p>“Oh! So you are awake then, that is good to see.” She had a half-smile decorating her face.</p><p>“Chain her! I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial.” The chancellor demanded the two guards on either side of the door.</p><p>“Disregard that. And leave us.” Cassandra pushed up from leaning on the table taking charge of the room with a simple posture change. The two guards at the doorway exited.</p><p>“You walk a dangerous line seeker.” The chancellor said lowly stepping closer to the woman. Aurora felt behind her until she found the wall and leaned heavily against it. </p><p>“The breach is stable but it is still a threat. I will not ignore it.” Cassandra replied through her teeth. </p><p>Leliana rested a hand on Aurora’s shoulder and whispered how she was feeling. “Like I got hit by a fucking bus.” She replied weakly, she knew she must have been flushed, she really should not have gone outside, and just wanted to be back in that cabin again. This was already too much. </p><p>Leliana’s back straightened and looked at her a bit harder. “It is strange, how is it that a human such as yourself comes to have a sort of an offshoot of a dwarven accent?” </p><p>“Strange how the world works isn’t it.” She tried to smirk throwing a finger gun with the hand the mark was on towards the redhead. She didn’t smile back. </p><p>“And whose fault was that?” The aggravated chancellor pointed his finger at Aurora clearly heated that the conversation was not easily going his way. </p><p>“Oh don’t worry about me, Chancellor. I’ll make a point not to cough on your food too much.” Aurora grumbled. Cassandra then seemed to take notice of how badly Aurora looked and offered her a seat, she took it without hesitation. </p><p><em> “It's your fault”  </em>The voice echoed as if in response to the chancellor’s words. It startled her back awake and she quickly started thinking to it but received no response again. </p><p>“She did everything to try and close the breach. She brought both me and many of the other soldiers back from the brink of death when she didn’t have to. She nearly died doing it.” </p><p>“So clearly the demons wouldn’t attack her because she helped start all this mess?!” </p><p>“Oh no Chancellor.” Leliana glanced through her eyelashes. “I can assure you that was very much not the case.” </p><p>“And yet she lives. A convenient result.” </p><p>“Not my fault some cosmic being has a sense of humor and won't let me die.” Aurora rolled her eyes. </p><p>“Have a care Chancellor, the breach is not the only threat we face.” Cassandra scolded. “Someone was seen with the most holy before the temple exploded, someone that we do not know. They could still be alive if they had the power to have caused the breach in the first place.” </p><p>“Or at the very least, have allies that yet live,” Leliana added, the chancellor looked to Aurora but then noticed everyone was looking at him.</p><p>Baffled, “I- am a suspect?” Rodrick looked at all of them and then landed his eyes back on the sitting woman. “But NOT the prisoner?” </p><p>“I saw the visions in the temple. She was not there, and she went out of her way almost dying to correct the mess of whoever had done this. She is the most innocent looking one here after that day.” </p><p>“So that <em> thing </em> on her hand, her survival - all a coincidence?” He crossed his arms in disbelief. </p><p>“Providence. The maker must have sent her to us in our darkest hour. With the only key that could have guaranteed our survival.” </p><p>“So you're saying I fell through the ice of the- the…” She struggled for a moment, wanting to make a witty comment but finding nothing. “And then fell through a rift, with a glowing hand. All because your god decided it?” She furrowed her eyebrows. </p><p>“We are all subjects to the will of the maker. Whether we wish it or not. No matter who you are or what you believe, you are exactly what we needed when we needed it. ”</p><p>“I wish he would take my own wishes into account,” She muttered then she felt Leliana’s hand on her shoulder. </p><p>“Whether you like it or not, your mark is the only hope we have of fully sealing the breach for good.” Aurora slowly glanced up at the woman and she was only looking at the chancellor. </p><p>“This is not for you to decide.” Rodrick said sternly glaring daggers at the ginger. Cassandra was walking back from the back of the room and then startled everyone by slamming a book down on the table.</p><p>“You know what this book is, chancellor.” It was not a question. Aurora slowly stood up and moved closer to the large table covered in maps to get a better look at the thick metal cased book. “A writ from the divine, granting us the authority to act. As of this moment, I declare the inquisition reborn.” The seeker straightened her back to her full height a few inches taller than the chancellor and started poking his chest. “We <em> will </em>close the breach, we <em> will </em>find those responsible, and we <em> will </em>restore order. With or without your approval.” Rodrick took a quick look to the side to Lelianna before walking out of the room entirely without another word. </p><p><em> “Oh fuck that was hot.” </em> </p><p>“This is the Divine’s directive: rebuild the inquisition of old. Find those who will stand against the chaos.” Leliana rested her hand over the book and spoke softly. “We are not ready. We have no leader, no armies, and now no chantry support.” </p><p>“But we have no choice. We must act now, with you at our side as the Herald of Andraste.” </p><p>“Okay yeah,” Aurora leans forward on the table “this has really been bugging me the past bit. What is an andraste? And what exactly are you guys bringing back from the dead here?” </p><p>“Andraste is the wife of the maker, and the one that our soldiers believed was standing behind you when you fell out of the rift.” Leliana placed her hands behind her back looking at Aurora curiously.</p><p>“I remember that yes… I was running from... Something. But there was this shape of a human, bright white though I couldn’t say if it was a woman or not. It beckoned me in its direction and then suddenly I was on the ground in the crater.” </p><p>“Exactly,” Cassandra said then started pacing around the table. “The inquisition of old was even before the chantry. It was a group of people who came together to bring back peace and order in a world gone mad.” </p><p>“We will have to be careful. Much like the inquisition previous who turned into the templar order and lost their way, we could be at risk of such fates. If we were to even get that far.” Leliana added. “We need to bring together those who know what needs to be done and unite them under a single banner once more.” </p><p>“If I know anything about established organizations, I would say that makes us a threat to their rule.” Aurora wasn't liking the sound of this.</p><p>“It will take time for the chantry to find a new divine, before then they are practically harmless,” Lelianna responded. </p><p>“Then why am I even here? I can’t fight very well. From the sounds of it, many people still think I’m guilty, what is to stop someone from just lobbing my head off if they see it as justice?” </p><p>“Aurora, if you stay here with the inquisition, you can help us bolster confidence in our mission. We can keep you safe, train you to protect yourself, and become a diplomat for the cause.” Cassandra nodded to Aurora in assurance. </p><p>“I know from Josie that there are already a few dozen nobles who would like to meet you for themselves. You would be a great asset even outside the mark.” </p><p>“You want to use me for propaganda,” Aurora said flatly.</p><p>“We would never expect you to lie, but realize what good you would be doing for this world.” Cassandra pressed.</p><p>“I don’t even know the first thing when it comes to this place. I don’t even know what this place is.” Aurora was becoming exasperated. </p><p>“Welcome to Haven,” Cassandra stopped at the head of the table and looked down at the woman. “The birthplace of the newly established Inquisition, and the only place in this world that you will be safe.” </p><p> </p><p>So Aurora decided she was done with all of that shit. She excused herself from the room and found herself walking as fast as she could manage back to her cabin. On the way she passed a few different villagers she would guess and saw one of them with a towel.</p><p>“Oh Herald-!”</p><p>“Is there a bathroom here? Someplace to take a bath or something?” She asked quickly. The woman pointed in the direction of a larger building more amongst the residential cabins she guessed and nodded. “Thank you.” </p><p>Shaking furiously she struggled to keep her clothes in her arms as she made her way to the baths. She assumed that she just needed to warm up, and if they had any kind of way to submerge herself in some steaming water she was going to take it. </p><p>Finding herself walking through the door, it surprised her not to find a one-room bath like she almost expected, but instead stalls of tubs. There was a giant metal container near the middle of the room that had someone tending to a fire under it. A little confused she walked up to the young boy tending to it and asked him how it worked. </p><p>“Oh new to Haven are you?” He asked with a bright smile on his face and she responded with a nod. She assumed she would be as happy as him if she got to work next to a fire all day and got to actually stay warm. “You look a bit cold, I’ll fill a tub for you.” And with that, he started filling one of the tubs hidden from view behind a wooden door and handed her a towel from one of the shelves near his chair. </p><p>Aurora glanced down and noticed that her clothes were actually covering her left hand. <em> “So it's not that they recognize me, they just recognize the mark.” </em> </p><p>She looked back up as he approached her and thanked him profusely before locking herself in the stall. It was simple, not much to it, she supposed she should be grateful for even having hot water in this place. </p><p>After undressing and waiting for the water to cool down a bit, she slid herself completely underwater. In the silence, she found herself finally having a break. There was no low buzz from the breach far away, there was no person whispering when she passed. It was just her. </p><p>Holding her breath she tried thinking about the events that had happened thus far. There was ice- no it covered something. A pond? A lake? Why was she there? She remembered someone- a man. How did she end up in this place? And why did the name Aurora not sound right? Shaking her head she went up for air and quickly went under again. Rubbing her hair with the little bit of soap that they had next to the tub she tried pressing on her memories again. Something hitting the ground, the ice, her phone! Someone had called her, who was it? And who was that person she had yelled at? </p><p>Submerging again she shook her head vigorously to rinse her hair out and reset her mind and then went up for air again. She rested her head against the lip of the tub and took a moment to breathe but kept her eyes closed. Her eyes were extremely heavy, the water was helping to relax her muscles and she was struggling with the idea of ever getting out. </p><p>Her head was overwhelmed from everything that happened, down to even the familiar voice she knew becoming more erratic and silent. Rising above again, she breathed slowly, focusing on the rise and fall of her chest as she tried to let her mind go blank. While focusing on her breath she heard some talking from the stall next to her. There must have been a bigger tub because it sounded like a few women together in one. </p><p>“I swear this reminds me a lot like of what happened back in Denerim almost a decade ago.” Her ears picked up at that. This? Happening before? What kind of place was this?</p><p>“I may not have been in Denerim during the blight like you were but I can certainly say that it wasn’t anything like this.”</p><p>“Sure- sure, we may have not had a giant rip in the sky glowing green for all to see but the feeling was the same. An underdog group going up against everything to try and save everyone. And instead of a tear in the sky, there was the archdemon. Though I couldn't personally tell you how it was any different from a normal dragon.” </p><p>Aurora’s eyes shot open and she sat up quickly grabbing onto the rim of the tub. <em> “Fucking DRAGONS?”  </em></p><p>“Well, no one could you dimwit. The average person has never seen a dragon.” </p><p>“Well, we are in the Dragon Age-”</p><p>“Yes yes, we all know the story. Dragons were gone forever and then on the day they were going to decide the name of the age a dragon came from overhead and ate the divine-”</p><p>“I don’t think that was it-”</p><p>“It was close. Don’t berate me.”</p><p>“<em> Anyways </em>- I remember that small group with those two grey wardens always going past the chantry or picking up any of the missions we put up on our board posts. I don’t know if they were good people or if that short dwarven woman was just bloodthirsty.” </p><p>“The Hero of Ferelden did not die so you could just call her bloodthirsty-”</p><p>“That man who traveled with her though-”</p><p>“The elf or the tall one or the short one that reeked of alcohol?” </p><p>“No, the other warden that was with her!”</p><p>“Yes! Yes that one, Alistair was it?”</p><p>“Yes! He was in line for the throne you know after Caline’s passing, half brothers. Poor boy’s mother was a serving girl and got knocked up by the king-”</p><p>“Scandalous-” </p><p>“I KNOW- but the stories say that he didn’t want to become king. But nothing was even fully decided until they had gone to the lands meet.”</p><p>“Really? I always thought that King Caline’s wife Queen Anora was always going to be the one to sit on the throne.” </p><p>“There was even talks for a minute that Alistair and the Queen were actually going to get married.” </p><p>“What-!” Both Aurora and the other woman said at the same time. She slammed her hand over her mouth and chastised herself for responding to her own eavesdropping. They were silent for a moment before the other one picked up again. </p><p>“But apparently the handsome lad is out with the grey wardens still. Galavanting around Thedas killing darkspawn and the like.”</p><p>“It’s a real shame that he couldn’t be here helping with everything going on. I’m sure that the others will have everything sorted. But I just think it would help with morale if the person who fought alongside the Hero of Ferelden was here.” </p><p>“What about the Herald of Andraste? I heard from some of the others that she woke up today. She has to be worth something right?”</p><p>“If they can even keep her. Talk is saying that she was in shock for most of what happened. Who knows how she will act like now.”</p><p>As the conversation started to shift back towards more mundane things such as the food they were going to pack on their next excursion from Haven she muddled over what she had overheard. After running it over in her head she had come to a few conclusions: she didn’t think that anyone working in the afterlife would try and work this much background into a made-up world for her to be tested on her morality for, dragons were fucking real, and there have been real people who have been through this kind of thing before. Not just reading it all from a book. </p><p>She dunked her face back in the water for a moment before realizing that it was starting to grow cold. She grabbed the towel and dressed in her newly washed modern person clothes and set out with a quick thank you to the boy working the station. He held out his hand expecting a tip, feeling bad she dug in the pockets of both of her pants. She found a few quarters, and then pulled out some of those plants that the elf had dropped back in her cabin. </p><p>“Really?” He asked with a grin on his face. She had no idea why a plant made him so excited, she didn’t stick around to ask. </p><p>She threw her clothes in the cabin right onto the floor and then marched her way back to the chantry. Her hair was freezing in the cold but she tried to not take notice. She also tried to not take notice to those who were looking at her odd attire. She pushed open the doors to Cassandra and Leliana who were still there writing letters and flipping through pages of the Divine’s manifesto. </p><p>“This will help people right? We are only here to help people?”</p><p>“Yes-” Cassandra said standing up slowly. </p><p>“Dragons are real? Like that is a real thing?”</p><p>“Yes, my family has hunted them for generations.”</p><p>“Oh- shit you are so badass. Okay-” She shook her head. “I will learn how to fight so I don’t need to rely on an entourage? Maybe actually live up to this damn Herald stuff?”</p><p>“We can train you to be self-reliant, yes.” </p><p>“And I can actually make a difference, I can stop people from dying?” At this question, her eyes started welling up slightly with tears that she tried to fight back as she searched for an answer in the Seeker's eyes. </p><p>“If we are to have any chance of really doing this, we won't be able to without you.” She stated. </p><p>Aurora nodded repeatedly and tried to force her face to not contort against her will. “Okay, okay I can stay. But there are a few things I’m going to need to be able to agree to this.” </p><p>“What is that?” Leliana asked standing as well. </p><p>“I’m going to have to try and get new glasses because everything is really blurry and it might be why my head hurts so much. I want to see a dragon. And I want to meet Alistair.”  They both were startled at the last two requests.</p><p>“You <em> want </em> to see a dragon?” Cassandra asked.</p><p>“You don’t know who Andraste is but you know of Alistair Theirin?” Leliana popped her hip out crossing her arms.</p><p>“Yes I want to see the scary lizards and I may or may not have learned a lot of things on my trip to the baths in the past half an hour.” </p><p>“Well I’m not too sure on how likely you are to come across a dragon in your travels but there is always a chance. In the case for Alistair though I am afraid that is not possible.”</p><p>“Why not?” Aurora asked, suddenly put off.</p><p>“Because he is dead.” Leliana responded without changing her facial expression. </p><p>“How?” Aurora persisted. If someone like him was dead, surely those random women she heard in the bath would have known about it. She for some reason was trusting their opinions as her entire baseline of what this place was. </p><p>“We don’t know. One minute we were able to track his whereabouts easily and the next he does not even exchange letters.”</p><p>“Well, maybe you aren’t looking hard enough.” Aurora pressed. </p><p>“Leliana here is our spymaster. The best in the world.” Cassandra reassured her.</p><p>“Then if anyone can find him, she could.” They all looked at each other for a moment.</p><p>“So if we look into trying to replicate your seeing wear, I let you know if any of our men spot a dragon, and Leliana's men look further into finding the warden, you will help us?” Cassandra stepped around the table walking towards the brunette woman. </p><p>“You make it sound like a lot. But I almost died for you guys so yes I feel comfortable making those negotiation terms.” Aurora extended her hand to the woman before her. </p><p>“Deal.” Cassandra said with a smile crushing her hand. “Welcome to the Inquisition.”</p><p>“I’m so honored to be the third official member.” </p><p>“I’m afraid the third and fourth members are officially taken by our commander and ambassador,” Leliana smirked sitting back in her chair. </p><p>“Maybe the third member in spirit then, I saw the book put on the table and all of that. It has to count for something.” </p><p>“Yes, it does.” Leliana grinned lifting her quil. “It counts for fifth place.” </p><p>
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</p><p>Solas had decided to stay with Aurora whenever he had the chance to. During the three full days that she was unconscious, he seemed to find himself back in the cabin that she was staying in. The first day someone had brought her clothes and left them on the other chair. After the person who had delivered them left he examined them when they caught his eye.</p><p>He had never seen blue fibers with this texture before, he had not seen such rich colors in clothing outside of royalty. The shoes were thicker than any leather that he had seen, with metal rings for the laces. It was all foreign to him, nothing that he had ever seen in his travels in the fade. He glanced down at the woman, she had been cleaned by the sisters after she passed out but she still was looking more worn down than the first time he had seen her. When she was awake her eyes were always analyzing, looking for understanding or for a lie. He watched her closely and still did not come to any strong conclusion on what kind of person she was outside of all of this. She had intensity, she didn’t like responsibility but she would do what she could to help others, and she clearly did not come from any place that he knew of. </p><p>The second night that he was there he had brought a few healing books with him. It was not his forte to work with those types of spells but after so many had fallen in battle before he felt it was a needed skill he should expand upon. While flipping through one of the tomes the woman on the bed moved for the first time since she had fallen. It startled him but he showed no physical signs of it. After a moment he placed his book down on the chair and walked over to her. All of her cuts or large bruises were cleared with the use of salves and other such things that the potions master Adan had conjured. </p><p>Her eyebrows were furrowed and her mouth turned into a bit of a frown but nothing outside of what a common nightmare would cause a person. He flipped through the pages of the book he was reading and found a spell to help calm dreams. He placed his feet strongly onto the floor and closed his eyes to focus, but to his surprise when he cast the spell it fizzed out almost instantaneously. He knew his power was not godly but he had not had such an issue at any time that he could properly remember. When he glanced back down her face was back to looking serene, and he decided for himself to leave for the night. </p><p>The third night that he had gone to her cabin, he had been frustrated all day. The spell he had tried was a simple one, one that the book said is often used by the common mage to relax a troubled mind of a non-mage. When he had entered the cabin yet again he placed his notes down that he had taken during the day and looked across the room at her with a determined expression. While it was not something that he tried often, he laid a blanket down on the ground near the fireplace and found himself quickly falling to sleep to enter the fade.</p><p>It was a forest that he recognized, one he often found himself in while first falling asleep. He could hear the usual yelling far off in the distance but decided to leave it for another time. Reaching out with his mind he attempted to sense where she was while she was asleep. She was physically nearby, so she should be the closest possible person to him.</p><p>When he opened his eyes again he was in another forest. But this time it was an extremely dark night, with trees much closer together and this time covered in snow. The ground was freezing on his feet but it was not solid, it was nearing spring. He had never been here before. In front of him fifteen or so yards away he heard the snapping of twigs and the sound of heavy boots slamming into the ground at a rapid rate. When he glanced up there was a beam of light chasing the first person, behind the light was someone yelling. Lightly he took steps forward and followed them from the side until he had reached a sheet of ice reaching as far as the low light enabled him to see. When he turned back to the side he saw that the person who was running was in fact the woman he had seen on the bed resting moments before. She was shaking her head and hysterical. Recognizing this as the nightmare she must be having he started to catch up to her but then found himself unable to take another step forward. He had walked into an invisible wall, when he placed his hand upon it there was no ripple or shine, simply impenetrable. He tried yelling out to her when suddenly he felt himself being forced back so hard and quickly that he found himself staring up at the ceiling of the cabin. </p><p><em> “Well, that is certainly new.” </em> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can't really decide how long I want the chapters to be. But as how things are now I think I am going to stick between 7k and 12k. I don't feel comfortable writing shorter chapters so that comes with having a slower upload schedule. Let me know what you think and if there are any large errors in the work. Thank you!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My last semester of college started and I'm dying.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Stepping out of the chantry for the second time had a very different feeling than it had an hour ago. Aurora’s hands were still lightly shaking but she shoved them into her jeans in a hope that keeping them warm would help, the attention they had started to draw in the war room made her uncomfortable enough to put in her current situation standing outside.</p><p>The village of Haven was not anything elaborate, simple log cabins such as hers that she had woken up in that morning. Spiked walls immediately surrounded the camp and mountains hugged the horizon just as cozily. She didn’t have time to appreciate them before when she had first arrived in this place, but she took the time now. Every peak and ridge had to be formed over time, and their sharpness showed that they were newer, not worn away by the elements. A volatile environment for this seemingly volatile world. </p><p>Wanting a better look Aurora pulled her partially broken glasses from her pocket and tried to look through the unbroken lens at the peaks surrounding them. <em> “Our of all the things to have been ruined, why did it have to be the thing I actually </em> needed <em> …” </em> She felt slightly self-conscious at any person walking past her as she attempted her short telescope observation. Wanting to get away from prying eyes, she saw steps leading up and followed them only to come face to face with the mage that she had met before. </p><p>“It seems you truly are awake.” The man’s lips pulled together in a tight smile, his eyes wrinkling just slightly at the ends. “I had heard mutterings from those passing by that it might be the case.” </p><p>Aurora let out a small mimicking smile and then replied walking up the rest of the steps. “I am not so sure I would believe that I was awake but I guess I’ll take your judgment on that.” Planting her sturdy boots into the ground she took a closer look at the man now that they weren’t in battle constantly and she didn’t have to consistently fear for her life. The first noticeable thing about him was that he was bald, quickly followed by his long ears. He seemed to have a warm wool overshirt on but then quickly threw out the idea of comfort when she saw he still was not wearing shoes. But she supposed she lingered on his ears a little longer than he would have liked because of the look that he now held on his face. A rock started to form in her stomach for reasons she didn’t want to think about. </p><p>Her not saying anything about it, he decided to move forward with the conversation. “Despite your feelings towards your current situation, I can assure you that you are indeed awake. This is real, even if it is different from what you normally experience in your daily life.” Her eyes quickly shot up to meet his, she has said odd things up until this point but most assumed she was dumb or had memory problems. He was the first one to acknowledge these feelings as legitimate, she wanted to thank him but didn’t. “Now how is your state of being? I know that the alchemist Adan has been looking over most of your ailments, but I thought I would ask myself.”</p><p>The area around Aurora’s eyes was starting to look like she was auditioning for the role of a sleepy raccoon with the amount of dark purple that ringed her eyes. Solas noticed she had also matched his stance by keeping her hands behind her back, and despite her attempt at a strong stance, she was swaying. </p><p>“I’m perfectly fine Solas, I would say I need a bit more sleep, but I’m not entirely sure that it’s what I want to do right now.” She tried to force a chuckle from her chest but it felt like it got caught on her teeth on the way out. He tilted his head as he watched her, it made her want to leave the conversation immediately. </p><p>“How were your dreams?” He asked simply, but it made a panic run through her. She knew she had been running away from someone, that she was screaming, that it was slipping away from her already, and that it was incredibly private. </p><p>“Great, they were great. Thanks for asking.” She had a hard time trying to control her face and thought it best to walk away. Before she could even turn a foot Solas spoke crisply.</p><p>“Is it because I am an elf or because I am a mage? Or possibly both that you seem so eager to leave the conversation?” He knew he was being more forward than he would with anyone else, and his voice was more venomous than he would have liked it to sound. But this was something he needed to know if this woman held any bias towards him. Aurora on the other hand was not filled with resolve anymore and instead a creeping panic deep inside that she didn’t know what to attribute to. </p><p>“What? No! Why would I care about that?”</p><p>“You tell me.” He stared at her and it was hard for her to make eye contact with them.</p><p>“Listen, if this is about earlier when I hit you during the fight to wake you up, I’m sorry. It wasn’t because you were a mage or an elf or whatever, it’s because you just wouldn’t wake up. I would have done it to anyone, except maybe Cassandra. But that’s because if she decided to hit me back I would be obliterated on the spot.” She shook her head and attempted to look back at him but couldn’t. “I don’t know what the social norms are or what mages and elves have gone through but clearly it’s bad. And I’m sorry, but I don’t know anything about it.”</p><p>He lowered his eyes and took a measured breath. She was shaking heavier now and shoved her hands back in her pockets.</p><p>“My apologies Herald. I am not sure what possessed me to react that way.” Solas’s expression tightened, clearly uncomfortable with the way he had reacted. </p><p>“It’s okay, I’m sure there are a lot of people here who treat you badly. Probably just a last straw kinda deal.” She rubbed her boots together and clearly felt weird about leaving now. Disappointed in himself, Solas searched for a topic to lighten the spirit. </p><p>“Would you like to know more about the history of this place? I have seen it a few times in my journeys to the fade as of late.” She let out a small smile at that and nodded silently. </p><p>Time passed as the two of them started to slowly relax around one another. Solas was indeed a highly educated man, never speaking with contractions and always had something to say on one topic or another. But from what he had told her, he had little to no formal education in any one department. He knew how to write, read, and knew more about history than she thought any person could without a PHD. And even with those, they are specialized in specific topics. A degree in Medieval history, specific countries, or even down to specific wars such as the world wars. The elf standing before her seemed to know a little to a lot about every passing moment that happened on any of the ground they could see. He explained that what he sees often is shrouded in a filter of the individual and mass’s memory. While maybe something didn’t happen, it is what most people think happened. She thought it close to the phrase “History is written by the victor.” He looked at her for a moment before he smiled and glanced away again. The two of them after a while found themselves sitting on the black rocks watching people pass by. As time had passed and people spoke long enough about her, she was starting to realize that those who stayed mostly in Haven were going to recognize her moving forward. She wasn’t thrilled by the idea. </p><p>“So you agreed to be their Herald then?” Solas questioned Aurora who he caught making faces at those passing by when they had their backs to her. </p><p>“That easy to tell huh?” She spoke monotonously, he chuckled lightly. </p><p>“I had imagined that if you were uncomfortable with the title you would have run out of the valley and past your first mountain by now.” </p><p>Aurora kicked her boots against the stone beneath her and looked out at the mountain ridge. “Do not mistake my complacency with approval.” She looked back over to him. “The only kind of person comfortable with being referred to as something godlike is a narcissist.”</p><p>Solas let out a heartfelt laugh that startled her before he grinned and said at last “I completely agree.” </p><p>They spoke about many topics and Aurora was learning much more this way than she had when she was in the bathhouse. Solas easily explained the concept of the fade, spirits, and how memories insert themselves within the fade. The spirit plain was a reflection of what was in this world around them, which is why he was able to see things that had happened so long before, it was much more fluid than the world they were in now. After all of her questions, she was surprised at how easily she came to understand what it was and how it worked. It made sense, a lot more than anything that she had heard back in her own world. And it was quite different from any religious idea that she had heard of. “When people die do they become spirits in the fade?” She asked. Solas pondered the thought for a while. </p><p>“There is no definitive answer to that question.” He looked like he was going to add to his statement but he didn’t. She was a little disappointed and turned her head to look in the distance again, but Solas noticed her squinting. </p><p>“Do you struggle with distance sight?” He asked. She turned to look at him again and then tried a laugh. Struggling she pulled out the broken glasses from her pocket again. He mentioned that he had seen her using them earlier and asked if they were her spectacles.</p><p>“Or at least they were.” </p><p>Solas thought a bit back to the tome he was reading the other night and remembered a spell for it. He held up his hands and asked her if he may try something. She furrowed her eyebrows for a moment when he held his hands near her face. But his face was wordlessly asking her to trust him, so she did.</p><p>She felt a warm light pass across her face and then felt it sink deeper into her head. She felt things almost adjusting themselves in her eye sockets which hurt for a moment before feeling better than she had ever felt them. When the light was gone she slowly fluttered her eyes open and saw blue eyes staring back at her. </p><p>“So, how do you feel? Honestly this time.” </p><p>Aurora slowly looked away from him and looked around at the rest of Haven. Everything was sharper, she could see the details of a face over ten feet away, and the horizon was not a blurry mess. Everything looked the way it did in movies, the way everything was supposed to look. She felt the rimmed glass in her hands and lightly squeezed. She quickly looked at Solas in shock and he clearly held pride in his face but she didn’t mind in that moment. </p><p>“You cannot tell me that this is real life after you do something like that.” She was breathless studying his face. Despite her mostly having problems with distance, she was able to see slightly small freckles decorating his face. </p><p>“If this sort of thing amazes you, I am curious as to what was considered normal for you.”</p><p>Aurora’s mind was elsewhere, such as how she actually did okay using that bow. She should not have been allowed to even hold one, or even <em> look </em> at one. Just as she was thinking about that day she almost killed the commander she saw him walking in the distance, something she would not have seen if not for Solas’s kind boost he gave to her sight. She thanked Solas again before saying she would talk with him later. She slid her way off the rocks and tried to lightly jog her way over to the fur covered man without making her head hurt again. She quickly called his name and then went to tap on his shoulder when he turned around seeming like he was about to dismiss a runner before he recognized her face. </p><p>“Oh- Herald. What is it?” He looked at her expectantly and she suddenly found herself at a loss for words. </p><p>“You can just call me Aurora.” She tried a smile. “Herald is still better than prisoner at least. Although it makes me feel like you are calling me by a man’s name.” He paused for a moment before realizing what she meant and shook his head lightly after letting out a quick laugh through his nose. </p><p>“What is it you wanted Aurora?” He was straight to the point apparently, good to keep in mind for later. </p><p>“So I-.. um.. I stole some money off some dead people.” What a great way to start the conversation. “I was wondering if it would be morally correct to buy you dinner with it, to pay you back. For almost killing you...Yeah.” </p><p>The commander’s mouth dropped slightly for a quick second before he closed it again and had a slightly baffled smile on his face. “So which is it then? Are you asking me to dinner, apologizing, or wanting a morality lesson?” </p><p>“The last two could be done over dinner?” She tried, trying to laugh and lighten the mood a little. “Or if that doesn’t work with your schedule I could just buy you a drink or something at the bar?” </p><p>“I’m afraid my soldiers may be uncomfortable if I were to join them in the tavern. I’m afraid it's where they go to avoid me when they are off duty.” The commander adjusted the objects that he was carrying on his side. </p><p>“Then let me carry that for you or something. Or maybe we can just find somewhere to talk.” She offered. Looking around there were some people watching her and it was making her uncomfortable. Not to mention the stress of talking to him and the watchful eyes were making her start to shake again. </p><p>“I can handle the weight here, but let's get you out of the cold.” Placing a hand on her upper back and leading her back into the chantry, she relished in the candles somehow heating the stone building so well. She wondered if they knew what insolation was and if there were any in the walls. She saw a few of the nuns or sisters or whatever lighting more candles and sending prayers up to wherever they thought their maker was. Solas had also informed her a bit about what religion they were going to start saying she belonged to. She would have to thank that elf profusely later if she could actually get away with being some kind of savior.</p><p>She had thought that they would be stopping in the main hall and sitting on some chairs but instead she found herself a few minutes later in a small room that seemed to be turned into a bedroom. She suspected it was his and observed it to learn anything she could. Clearly there was chantry influence because of the spiraled sun that hung on the wall and only plain sheets decorated the bed. The only thing that looked like there would be any personal touch to it was the desk nested in the corner where the commander started lighting the candles to provide light as there was only a small window. <em> “Minimalism: Thedas edition” </em></p><p>“My apologies for taking you here. We normally would be able to speak in the war room but Cassandra and Leliana have gotten Joesphine involved and now they are all still discussing what they are going to do about spreading the inquisitions word.” He finished lighting the last candle then quietly covered the match from behind with his hand and blew it out in one quick exhalation. He moved it around a little before putting it in a small bucket filled with sand. “Please take a seat.” She noticed to the side a small table with two chairs and took her rest there. </p><p>“Thank you commander. I wouldn’t blame you for not wanting to talk to me after what happened last time you saw me.” She tried with a start.</p><p>“I believe that was just the last time <em> you </em> saw me.” He threw off the top fur coat he had been wearing outside so the shining armor he was wearing under it reflected all the candles that were shining in the room. It looked a lot like the great hall just a few doors away. “And please, call me Cullen.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“What I mean was you had to get back to Haven somehow correct? Some of my men helped carry you back here when we all made the trek.” </p><p>“I hope I wasn’t drooling.” She let out a chattering laugh, she and the commander both seemed to notice that her shivering wasn’t getting any better. </p><p>“Are you still cold?” He asked. He didn’t need to elaborate, they both knew it was much warmer inside here than it was out there. But she brushed it off.</p><p>“How come you are staying in the chantry? Aren’t most people staying in those cabins or tents?” She avoided his eyes. </p><p>“I suppose the chantry made more sense to me. I had dedicated so many of my years to its safety I felt like it was where I should be hidden away at night. I don’t spend too much time here anyways.” She was curious at that and looked him over. He was a strong looking person, seemingly seasoned in battle and had history with the chantry. </p><p>“Templar?” She said simply, testing the word on her mouth. But he reacted to it just the same. </p><p>“I was. For a long while. But I have left that life behind me. I chose to join the Inquisition, its cause seemed more just. Plus less having to see friends of mine become lyrium addled.” She displayed confusion at that before he explained further. “Some have taken the lyrium for too long, or too much. It does damage long term.” She nodded thinking it over before a thought rushed through her. </p><p><em> Addiction. Withdrawal. </em> That's it. It must be. She searched through her memories as best as she could and found even more of her memories were starting to go missing. She remembered having a drink and getting really sick, she couldn’t remember why until now. She let out a long groan. He asked her what it was and she hit her forehead. “Fucking withdrawl. That's what it was. Thats why I feel so shit.” </p><p>“Withdrawal from what?” Cullen leaned forward to look her over and instantly recognized that was indeed how her body was reacting. She was about to respond when she felt her familiar friend appear in her head yet again, strong, imposing, but silent. She knew what it meant.</p><p>“I had medicine. Just.. Some medicine. I don’t think you guys would have anything like it here. I haven’t been cold turkey off this type of medicine in a long time. I don’t know how bad this new one can get. But the last medicine I was on before this one I got extremely sick.” </p><p>“Is it something you need to live? When was the last time you took it?”</p><p>“I’ve been out for three days, then there was the day I got here… about three and a half to four days. No wonder it's this bad.” She put her head in her hands and tried to focus on her breath, her skin hurt and the presence wouldn’t leave her. “No, I don’t need it to live. But it was supposed to make life easier.” It took a little while but Cullen quietly asked her what some symptoms were that she was having and ones she thought she might get. He silently wrote them down and told her that he would give them to Adan to see if he could make anything to calm down her symptoms. He folded up the paper and put it into one of his pockets. She was curled up on the chair in front of him cursing at herself for shaking.</p><p>Watching her he could tell she hated not being in control of herself like anyone would. But it was something she seemed familiar with. He stood up and draped his cloak over her and she grabbed his hand with a light grip. </p><p>“You don’t have to, I’m the one who has to make this up to you. God I still haven’t even properly apologized-” He stopped her.</p><p>“I can already see how much you regret it. And I can tell you are trying to make amends. Just get more training before you use a bow again.” He smiled and patted her hand. She managed to let out a strangled laugh through her chattering teeth and finally agreed. He also noticed how dark her eyes were and he offered to let her use his bed. She refused at first but he admitted that he didn’t really sleep anyways. And she would need it. She fought him a bit on it, she was thinking Jane Austen type books and wondered how big of a scandal this really was. But he was a church man and he was being nice so it's fine right? </p><p>He sat her down on the bed before speaking. “I’ll just be at my desk reading all the reports from the day. Just let me know if you need water or something.” She nodded and tried to apologize again but he wouldn’t hear it which made her smile. She passed out a lot quicker than she thought that she would, Cullen had barely gotten through his second report when he heard Aurora sleeping behind him. He stole a glance behind himself where he amusingly saw she had curled up with his cloak instead of using any of his sheets. After a few more reports he decided that even if he wasn’t that tired he should still at least try to rest before he had to face the next day. Not wanting to bother the Herald he grabbed one of his older cloaks that he still had and made his way to her cabin. He knew that they specifically made it so no one else stayed in the building so as to not mess with her while she was asleep or anything else of the like. While he thought it a bit uncomfortable to be staying in her bed he had to remind himself that she was using his. His eyes were heavy and his shoulders tight, he would take the rationale and tell it to himself until he managed to actually fall asleep in the cabin. </p><p>
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</p><p>It didn’t last all that long though. Soon he heard a loud rapping on the door. Cullen groaned then looked around at where he was. What was so important in the middle of the night? Upon opening the door Solas stood face to bare chest of Cullen Ruthford. His blue eyes looked up seemingly unphased. “Where is Aurora.” </p><p>“Not here if that's what you're thinking.” Cullen rubbed his eyes and saw how the elf was not in a good mood. </p><p>“Then could I implore you to tell me where she is?” </p><p>“In my room in the chantry-” Cullen didn’t even get to finish his answer before the man before him turned around completely and started to make his way to the chantry. Realizing that the man was on his way to his own room Cullen quickly threw on his shoes, and his shirt before running to catch up. The air was crisp as it always was, but with a certain thinness that can only be felt at night. The bare minimum of people were up patrolling, and the ones who recognized it was him who came out of the cabin were surprised to see him. He tried to pay them no mind. </p><p>Solas seemed to easily find where he needed to be, and at that moment it was at Aurora’s side. He had attempted to find her in the fade for the second night in a row. Last night had intrigued him but also made him feel cautious. And after having spoken with her for most of the afternoon he had started to worry for her. These were not dreams he had ever seen before, places he had never seen in the fade. </p><p>When he had laid down in his own bed in Haven he had awakened in the forest as he had the other night, with yelling in the distance and his (body) hair on end. But he was waiting, that dream could continue to wait for him. </p><p>Instead he was focusing and after a while he knew that he had found her dream space. But when he opened his eyes again everything was black. There were no trees, no lake, nor dark sky above them. All he could hear at first was a faint whistling, one he found familiar. The reverberating and strong tone he remembered itched at the back of his head, now but a step up from a whisper. His blood turned to ice; he felt a knife go through his back and a whisper around him spoke from no mouth.</p><p><em> “This is all your fault.” </em> He looked down in front of him and saw the woman he had seen but a few hours earlier with blood on her hands. He reached out despite his own pain to touch her shoulder but it didn’t register. Her fingers curled into fists and covered her eyes. Blood smeared. </p><p>“I’m so sorry- I never meant for any of this- I didn’t think it ever would-”</p><p>
  <em> “But it did.”  </em>
</p><p>“I didn’t have any choice-” Solas noticed that after he had touched her shoulder that the void around him started to be replaced by something. Somehow he could see both a mountain top and a hospital, taking up the same space. Something only the fade could fabricate. The voice was no longer a whisper.</p><p>“There is always a choice.” When he looked ahead of himself he saw a figure starting to form, and like he had been doing for so long, he ran. </p><p> </p><p>Reaching the room of the Commander, Solas did not hesitate opening the door and immediately stepping in, something that Cullen very much did not like.</p><p>“You can not simply storm into-” The curly hair figure started before falling silent at the sight before him. The woman who had gone so weak earlier was struggling frantically in her sleep. Solas knelt next to the bed and instantly tried a spell again to calm her mind, this time outside of the fade where he was more in control of his own state of being. Cullen asked if he should try and restrain her but Solas quickly informed him that trying anything like that could result in worse injuries. After a few minutes of it the Commander decided he did not want to be silent anymore.</p><p>“What is taking so long?”</p><p>“Did you ever happen to pay attention at all to the actual workings of the mages when you kept them guard for so many years knight commander?” Solas snapped and it shut him up. </p><p>Aurora was nowhere close to being conscious, and her struggling had not calmed down as minutes ticked by. The tension in the room had increased dramatically. Solas tried to clear his mind of what he had seen but it was imprinted. A small bead of sweat formed on the elves forehead. </p><p>In his own mind Solas was startled when Cullen pulled him out of his own thoughts. The mark was behaving erratically and the green of it was starting to over power the light from the candles around them. </p><p>“I don’t know what you were doing now but you need to wake her up before that thing causes damage.” Cullen ordered the mage, he was not happy to hear that particular tone but Solas agreed with the Commander. There was only so much he could do, he was ill experienced in the school of creation magic, and what he knew involving the fade was seeming irrelevant at the moment. </p><p>Cullen saw the mage’s face and was hesitant to address it. “As long as it doesn’t cause more damage do it. We need to wake her up before the whole of Haven watches the third chantry to blow up in the past five years. Do it.” He crossed his arms to subconsciously protect himself from the magic that he felt filling the room. </p><p>Solas looked at the commander concerned, turned the gaze to Aurora, and let out a force of air in frustration. Cullen watched as the mage started to raise his hands, he grounded his feet in preparation for what was to come and tried not to close his eyes to the bright light filling the room. He was glad he didn’t, for the mage simply just smacked Aurora across the face. </p><p>Aurora’s eyes opened instantly. She grabbed the side of her face and looked up at Solas with the same look he gave her a few days before. “My apologies, it wasn’t personal. You weren’t waking up.” She looked around the room to see that both Cullen and Solas were there. She knew she shouldn’t be there, she knew this wasn’t her room, but she couldn’t remember what her room looked like. Her face stung, and her eyes started to water and her shaking started to pick back up again. </p><p>“Why would- Why would you need to even- I don’t understand what's going on-” She closed her eyes as tears started to run down her face. The room felt like it was spinning, the candles seemed to float through the air back and forth leaving streams of golden light in its trail. Her iris was rapidly moving back and forth under her eyelids and she felt clammy.</p><p>Cullen rushed over and knelt down in front of her, he placed each hand on her arms and tried to steady her. “It's going to be okay Aurora, it seemed like you were just having nightmares.” He quickly turned his attention to Solas demanding a silent explanation but he received none. Cullen shifted his gaze back to the extremely pale person before him.</p><p>“Solas get Adan, give him the paper that is sitting on the table near the door.” Cullen said quietly but kept his eyes on Aurora. He lightly held the side of her head as she struggled to keep it upright. He wanted to let her lie down but he did not understand what was happening earlier and was unsure as to how he was supposed to help if the mark acted up again. He was afraid to put this in his reports to the others and the responses that might happen because of it. But for right now he saw in her eyes, the coolness of her skin under his hands, he saw the many friends he had lost to something similar. Before they were not able to acknowledge it, part of the price of being a templar they were always told. The sweat glistening off of Aurora’s skin and the way she couldn’t seem to focus on him scared him. He felt as powerless as he had the last time it happened, and the time before that. </p><p>Desperately she reached up with her weak arms to hold his hand against her face and closed her eyes to try and make the spinning go away. He couldn’t look away. </p><p>Solas had made it to the main hall of the chantry before he decided to roll the paper up on the way to wake the healer. Glancing at the writing he saw some keywords that caught his attention. After gaining confirmation on what he assumed, he took a moment of silence to himself before making his way into the night. But a nagging thought wouldn’t exit his mind. </p><p>How ironic that the ex templar was comforting someone he would consider an abomination. </p><p>He clutched the paper in his hand, certain he had wrinkled its delicate form. He would make sure that the commander never found out. </p><p>
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</p><p>It had been Adan the alchemist’s observation, he very much emphasised he was an alchemist not a healer, that she had over-done herself. She had been unconscious for nearly three days and then spent the entire day in stressful situations or outside in the cold without proper garments to keep warm. Nothing about the situation was good for her health he stated, she needed bed rest, and needed to take things slowly and with proper care if she were to make it through all of this. The dizziness that she had felt was a precursor to her getting quite sick to her stomach. </p><p>For two days she struggled to even keep water in her stomach and it worried everyone, especially the worshipers. Varric had visited her one day telling her that some of the villagers were crying enough tears to keep her hydrated for a week. She managed a weak chuckle and tried to drink water again “For my people, may they one day stop worshiping the ground I walk on.”</p><p>“For you, for fucking dealing with them.” He replied, lifting his own drink with a smile. She had started choking on the water and he thought she was going to get sick again until he realized she was just laughing. He relaxed a bit and felt good that she was starting to act a bit better. She had settled into the incline of pillows behind her with a smile on her face. </p><p>“You are an author right?”</p><p>“I’m surprised you actually believe me.” </p><p>“Call it desperation,” she turned her head to him “ can you tell me a story then? Even just a short one. I doubt I know any stories from here, so you could tell me anything.” </p><p>“How about I tell you my favorite?” Varric grabbed the other chair near him and kicked his feet up on it. She looked at him expectantly. “The Tale of the Champion?” </p><p>“Sounds lame, I’m here for it.” she grinned from ear to ear as he settled into the rhythm of the story as he had so many times before. But he took his time, spoke about the parts he cared about and she let him. Unlike of the last time he told it being interrogated by the Seeker, he was only interrupted for things that he was happy to expand upon that gave her further background as to how certain things worked. The circle, the templar, and the Qunari being some. She was most surprised to hear about the horned beings. </p><p>“They are grey? AND have horns?” She sighed and looked at him. “That's so unfair. I want horns and to be super tall.” </p><p>“Don’t we all?” Varric stole a piece of bread from her dinner that was brought to her. </p><p>She had had a few visitors besides Varric that came to visit her. Often she would hear Cassandra speaking to the guards outside her cabin before coming in. Her visits were normally extremely short and awkward but she appreciated the seeker for trying. Josephine came down to visit her and she was such a ray of sunshine that Aurora both wanted to adopt and marry her and she thought it was a weird combination of feelings. She would swirl in and ask her a few questions regarding business then would tell her about all of the things she wanted to. Aurora had found that when she didn’t have much energy to speak she was a fantastic listener.</p><p>Solas would visit but whenever he did he would encourage her to sleep. She thought it odd at first but found that with his presence nearby she didn’t have many nightmares. She thought it odd at first, but over time she understood that the magic he wielded must be great and the power he wielded in the fade was tangible, and not just a fun story she got to hear while sitting with him. </p><p>“Solas?” She called out quietly into the room, he had encouraged her to sleep but she just wanted to talk to him at that time. “I forgive you for hitting me.” </p><p>“I just considered it even.” </p><p>“Good to know you are keeping score.” She chuckled, that day he had set his mat next to her bed so their heads were near each other. She peaked her head over the edge and saw an elf with one eye open looking at her. “Solas why are you in here?”</p><p>“I explained to you earlier about my experience with the fade and magic surrounding it.” She nodded. “It might appear.... Your mark. It is probably settling into your body and causing you to have erratic dreams. If you are to get better you need to have proper rest.” </p><p>“I could report you for sleeping on the job.”</p><p>“Very funny. Truly. You can see the amused expression on my face and everything.” </p><p>She rolled her eyes and rolled onto her back again. The only sound they could hear this late at night was the fireplace near them cracking. “Thank you. And thank you for watching over me when I fell out of the rift.” She could hear him shift below her. “Also that comment about stealing your bed? I kind of feel bad now.”</p><p>“Because I’m sleeping on a mat on your floor?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“You could always join me on the floor as well.” </p><p>“I’d much rather not.” There was a beat of silence before she sputtered out a laugh and pulled up her blankets. “Okay goodnight, sweet dreams, keep me safe from monsters.” She finished laughing out before turning onto her side.</p><p>“I’ll certainly try my best.”</p><p>As the days passed she couldn’t remember what the dreams were about, nor why they made her feel so bad. When she was able to keep the water down, when she was able to take steps around the room without collapsing, when she could sleep soundly, her first official war room meeting was called.</p><p>
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</p><p>“The templars are the only group worth reaching out to.” Cullen had his hand resting on the edge of the large table with persistence resting on his face. “They have skills specifically made to suppress magic. If we could congregate them around the breach and then use Aurora’s mark we might actually have a chance to close it.”</p><p>“But almost the same thing could be said about the mages.” Leliana countered matching his tone. “It would make just as much sense to pour their magic into Aurora’s mark and close it that way.” </p><p>“And risk it possibly blowing her arm off? I don’t think that is the greatest idea in the world.” </p><p>Aurora was excited to leave her cabin for the first time in nearly a week, feeling the wind on her skin would have been great if it wasn’t so cold. But by the time she had gotten to the war room she was already exhausted. She supposed they might have guessed that would be the case because they already had a chair for her, she was thankful at the time.</p><p>Now she sat with four people arguing about what to do with her about two feet above her with now the possible threat of her arm being lobbed off. She wanted to keep her arm if she could, she thought that was reasonable.</p><p>The bickering went on for a little bit until Cassandra saw that Aurora had raised her hand. They fell silent after a moment and Aurora added to the conversation.</p><p>“I prefer the option where my arm doesn’t get decimated.” </p><p>Cullen turned his gaze back towards Leliana as if to say “See?” But that was not the end of the conversation. </p><p>“The chances of your arm getting severely damaged are slim to none Herald.” Josephine turned her attention to the seated woman. “We are just trying to understand what all of our options are.” </p><p>Aurora thought about what she had learned so far about this world she was in, and while it was only snippets, form stories, from objective views. She worried that the point of view she was gaining might not understand the whole picture but thought it was worth a shot.<br/>“Well there is a war going on between them right?” She started. “Why don’t we just make them work together? Nothing quite like the world ending to try and bring people together right?” Leliana shook her head.</p><p>“It’s not that easy Aurora, the conclave was supposed to be the compromise and it instead became the catalyst of the fighting.” </p><p>“I mean if we're being honest, from what I heard this was all a long time coming.” They looked at her.</p><p>“Even if we were to consider bringing both groups together, we don’t have the capability to do so.” Cassandra tried to explain. </p><p>“The sort of bringing together that you are suggesting requires supplies, currency, reputation, all things that we don’t have.” Josephine tacked on. “It is going to be difficult enough attempting to get one of them to work with the Inquisition, let alone the both of them.” </p><p>“Then maybe it's just time to get started.” Aurora made a quiet groan and stood up to stand with them at the table. “How would we start if we were to try and go that route?” She asked. </p><p>“We would require more men, horses,-” Cullen started,</p><p>“Deals with merchants, get nobles on our side,-” Josephine added,</p><p>“Not to mention leverage on all of them,-” of course Leliana,</p><p>“And a way to get them to even meet in the same room.” Cassandra finished. “It's not possible.” The four of them watched her to see how she would respond.</p><p>“That's just a few things. Where do I start?” It was not the reaction they were expecting, and a grin broke out on Aurora’s face.</p><p>“I don’t think you properly understand what you are expecting here.” Josephine held her quil up further away from the paper as if not wanting to take note on what they were talking about.</p><p>“And I think you forget something.” Aurora countered with the grin growing even bigger. “I’m the Herald of freaking Andraste. If I can step out of the fade I can do anything.” She was attempting sarcasm but it seemed that Cassandra didn’t pick up on it.</p><p>“You are certainly more comfortable with the title than you were a few days ago.” Cullen mused. A small smile on his face as well.</p><p>“Oh no, I still hate it. But I know some of you guys are religious so this is my attempt at a pep talk.”</p><p>Leliana covered her mouth with a slight wrinkle next to her eyes and Cassandra seemed slightly speechless. </p><p>“If you are the Herald of Andraste-” She finally started.</p><p>“I’ve never been to church willingly ever but sure-”</p><p>“You should take the title seriously.” </p><p>“Okay sure but take this into consideration.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I never asked for this, and I don’t wanna.” </p><p>Cassandra was fuming to say the least, and Aurora didn’t have the energy to try and calm her back down. “There are now hundreds of people who look to you as a savior given to them in their darkest hour by the Maker. You should not disregard their faith with such scorn.” </p><p>Fury was building in her chest but she kept it down for the sake of others and for her own health. “Sorry I’m not acting like the perfect massiah Cassandra, it's almost like I’ve never been revered to as a religious figure in my life. Let alone to a religion I have never been a part of and only learned about a week or so ago. I am far away from any family, friends, or anything that I might find familiar and the only reason you didn’t kill me was because I had a strobe light hand that happened to fix your problems. But yes, I should just be grateful shouldn’t I? My apologies for not seeing it sooner.” Aurora snapped and moved the chair to the side. “If I could give you the mark and crown you Herald I would. But that's not possible.” she rolled her eyes. “Like so many things apparently.” </p><p>
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</p><p>Walking out of the war room gave Aurora time to think. Something that she had done a lot of while held up on that bed. She had hoped for a break from it but it clearly was not in the cards. </p><p>She did have visitors when she was sick, but they couldn’t be there all the time. And she especially hated when they were there when she retched. But the worst part was laying there on her back staring at the wooden ceiling trying desperately to remember… Anything. </p><p>Certain memories were not hard to reach for. She knew she wasn’t from here, she knew what the trees looked like and the feeling of fresh water on her skin. She knew she was from somewhere small and she could remember the chorus to some of her favorite songs. But the things that frustrated were that she couldn’t remember her mothers name, why she kept having dreams of drowning, why she was having withdrawal in the first place. </p><p>She hated that every time she walked out of the stone chantry something had happened that caused her to be upset some way or another, and started to feel resentment towards the doors behind her. She watched the people around her in Haven all seemingly on a mission, something to do, to keep their mind occupied. She knew she used to have a job, she knew that at one point she had been in school, she missed the direction. And envied the others working around her as they probably envied her for not having to do it. She never liked being sick. </p><p>After a minute or two of walking she found herself sitting on a log next to Varric near his tent right in front of the main walkway. The dwarf had been writing letters it seemed when she walked over but gladly invited her to sit with him. </p><p>“I thought you would have been in there for a while yet. I know some of the soldiers were expecting Blondie to be in there for another hour yet and snuck off.” He spoke, shoving his writing supplies back into his bag. </p><p>“Well they might be in there longer, I kinda stormed out.” She scooted her log a little closer to the fire and warmed her hands. She was adorning the clothes she was wearing when she woke up after attempting to close the Breach. She thought they weren’t the most flattering but it was at least warmer than her jeans and long sleeve crop top. Though she supposed most things probably were. The cloak was something she never had before but found it extremely warm and comforting.  </p><p>“You seem to like your dramatic exit and entrances.” </p><p>“No other way to go through life.” She shrugged “They also maybe really didn’t like my idea about trying to recruit both the mages and the templars. Even though I don’t see how it's a big deal.” </p><p>Varric let out a low whistle. “Yeah no wonder you got in trouble. I think at this point you’re probably the only person in all of Thedas who would recommend that to anyone.” He offered her some jerky from the same bag his writing stuff was in, she accepted gladly and replied with one of them between her teeth.</p><p>“I don’t know man! I don’t see why it's such a big deal. I mean we already have basically nothing now, why not reach sky high? From what I heard the mages don’t really love the chantry but the templars work for them so how did anyone expect the Divine to fix it? She is at the center of all of it.” She took a bite out of the tough meat and made a face. “What even is this? The meat here tastes weird.” </p><p>“It's nug. The jerky is at least, last night's dinner was ram. Before that was deer.” </p><p>“The venison I recognized sadly.” She grumbled a bit and took another bite. </p><p>“Well that's something at least.” Varric grinned. “Now that I got you talking and you are feeling a bit better you should tell me more about this place you claim to be from.” </p><p>She started to chew a lot slower and savored the… nug flesh oh god. She did not want to know what they looked like. After a moment she swallowed. “What do you want to know?”</p><p>“Well according to you, you aren’t even from Thedas. So where are you from?” He asked</p><p>Oh Jesus, does he want Planet Of Origin? Country? State? Biome? The topography? Her post code? “I’m from a state called Michigan.” She tried and looked at him. </p><p>“Anything else?” He pushed. </p><p>“I remember there being a lot of snow and cheese.” </p><p>“Then you practically lived in Ferelden.” </p><p>“Thats this one right?” She guessed. Varric was floored for his standards but didn’t show it very strongly on his face. </p><p>“Do you not want to tell me or can you not remember?” He spoke quietly, there was no one walking past them and the snow was falling just slow enough for her to consider it slow. Her failing to answer him made him glance off to the side. “Memory then.” He let out a sigh. “I could tell you knew some stuff before so something must have happened. You trying to close the Breach probably did something to your head. Closed you off from something. Shit, I’m just spitballing here I’m not a doctor.” </p><p>“Really? I would have guessed you were a neurosurgeon by the way you just let your chest hair hang out like that. Super professional.” He gave her a look. “Brain doctor.” </p><p>“Well there you go. That’s something you remember.” He offered her another piece of jerky. </p><p>“I don’t want to eat all your food.” She held up her hand trying to decline.</p><p>“Kid, I don’t think you understand.” He held it out to her again. “I’m rich.” </p><p>“You are living in a tent.” </p><p>“You really call it how you see it huh?” He handed her another one then put it back in his bag. She took it and nibbled on it before answering. </p><p>“Yeah pretty much.” </p><p>“Well I don’t know what I’m going to do now.” He started and rested his hands behind him. She looked at him curiously. “No one wants a story with the hero having amnesia. Too cliche.” She lunged for him to hit him but he expertly dogged it. “Keep your sick hands off me.”</p><p>“Who even said I was the hero in this story? If anything I might come and kill you all in your sleep.” </p><p>“Falling out of nowhere and then wanting to help everyone? Then not to mention those horrible fighting skills I just witnessed. You are either the hero before the giant training montage or just pathetic.” She lunged for him again and he just stood up and took a few steps back laughing. “We really need to work on your fighting skills.”</p><p>“I’m not trying!”</p><p>“I can’t tell.”</p><p>“Dick.”</p><p>“Very eloquent.” He retorted as she let out a deep sigh. “So you got in a fight with all the higher ups in the organization right after they had the dramatic ceremony declaring themselves to the world, you are losing your memories at a rate that even you don’t know, and you are stuck in a world that you don’t know nor understand. Am I getting this all right?”</p><p>“You make it sound almost as bad as it feels.”</p><p>“Sorry I’m just practicing the introduction to my next book. Want to make sure I can put you in the acknowledgements.” </p><p>“As if the whole story wouldn’t be about mostly me anyways?” </p><p>“Hey… I’m here. Don’t be so self centered. And don’t worry, I’ll make sure to steer you in the direction of greatness.” </p><p>“I feel like somehow, cosmically, this is all your fault.”</p><p>“Oh I’m not the Maker, I just write down whatever the hell it is he approves to happen down here. But if I were the Maker I’d still make you the Herald.” </p><p>“I can’t tell if that's you being sweet or you saying you want to damn me.”</p><p>“That's for you to decide and for me to write down.” </p><p>
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</p><p>Something about spending time with Varric always made her feel like she was back to her old self, even if she wasn’t really sure who that was. After bickering like old friends for a while Varric brought up the idea that maybe it was a good thing. Maybe there were things in her old life she didn’t want to remember and this was her chance to start over. She dismissed it at the time saying she didn’t think anything could be that bad. But as silence fell between the two of them they both knew that neither of them believed it. </p><p>Exhausted after being out of bed for a grand total of three hours (record of the week), she excused herself to take a nap. He told her his metaphorical door was always open and she was grateful for it. </p><p>After her apparent long nap, she found herself staring at the wooden ceiling she had not been able to escape for the majority of the time she had spent in “Thedas.” She hated it, not the ceiling, but the hours she had spent staring at it wishing she could mourn her old life. But not having much memory of it she didn’t really know what she would even start on. How could you mourn a family you can’t remember holding you? Friends you have little to no memories of? She had settled for mourning the absence of it, an option she thought of as selfish but saw no other way to go about it. She mourned no friends to call and tell them what had happened, no mother to stroke her head as she cried over the pain of the mark on her hand.</p><p>It never stopped hurting, but it was more of a constant dull throb at this point. She got along with Varric, Solas, Josephine, and Cullen, she thought, but they were hardly a step above strangers. </p><p>A quick flash in her mind came of how softly Cullen held her face when she woke up from that horrible nightmare. His eyes were more solomn than she had ever seen and he didn’t leave her side until she had fallen asleep back in her cabin. She felt watched over by him. He made her feel safe during, in her opinion, one of the scariest things to happen since getting here. She understood he was busy, but she wished he had made time to visit her when she was sick. Even if he might have seen her all disgusting as she threw up… Maybe she was kind of glad he never visited actually.  </p><p>She shook her head and tried to throw out the unproductive thoughts. She could almost feel herself falling into a hole of them never to come back out. But her body was exhausted, and her mind was too. She couldn’t remember the dream she had, rubbing her eyes didn’t seem to help either so she threw her arms back on the bed. Looking to the side she noticed that dinner had been brought to her again, just as mushy and funky looking as ever. According to Varric it was considered a Ferelden delicacy. She laughed at the time but after seeing it so many times she was starting to wonder how much of a joke it was. </p><p>Finishing up the, sadly, venison whatever it was and luckily a vegetable she recognized, she heard a knock at the door. Curious, after gaining balance on her feet again she opened the door hesitantly to see someone wearing a hood in the doorway. </p><p>“Good evening Herald, spymaster Leliana wants to speak with you. You can find her in the tent in front of the chantry.” With that he gave a slight bow finishing with a quick “Your worship.” Then raced off. </p><p>The memories of what had happened earlier that day when she had yelled at all of them rushed back to her and she groaned as soon as the doors were closed. She sat on the floor and put her head against one of her knees. She knew she needed to apologise but she really didn’t want to. She understood where she herself was coming from of course, but yelling at someone who was putting everything on the line was not the right person to take it out on. </p><p>Gathering herself after a few minutes and throwing on the cloak near by she found herself where she was asked to be, standing in the flap-way watching Leliana sift through reports. Between seeing the commander and now the spymaster doing so much paperwork she really hoped that she didn’t have to do it in the future, though her hopes were not very high.</p><p>“I know I should apologise to Cassandra first but I know I need to apologise to you as well-”</p><p>“That's not why I called you here.” Leliana straightened and turned to face her new guest. “You may find Cassandra practicing out in the field tomorrow near the soldiers if you want to apologise to her. But it's none of my concern. What concerns me are your newfound memory issues and to inform you about our decision going forward.” Aurora’s back straightened.</p><p>“How do you know about that?”</p><p>It looked like Leliana was trying to decide between combusting or rolling her eyes but decided on neither. “Seriously Herald, do you not take my title seriously?” Aurora paused then shrugged in acceptance, it made sense. “How deeply has it developed, can you properly remember where you are from?” </p><p>“Only a little bit. I know it's not here but I don’t know if I’m on another planet, a different dimension, a different freaking galaxy, I really have no idea. I just know it's not anywhere near here.” </p><p>Leliana and Aurora both took steps forward so they were facing each other deeper within the tent. “Do you remember anything from before you fell through the rift? How might you have transported through the fade here?” </p><p>Aurora felt her lungs burn. “No, I don’t.” As she averted her eyes from Leliana’s, she didn’t see the hooded woman slightly clench her jaw. </p><p>“Either way, we discussed further on the topic of the mages and templars. We agreed that it would be best if we were to focus on building the Inquisition into a formidable organization. We can work from there about which group we will reach out to. But when we make the decision we will all be there to make it, and we will all agree.” </p><p>Aurora nodded in agreement. “That sounds like the safest bet to make at this point.” She couldn’t tell if she felt awkward or if she feared Leliana, but she assumed both were valid feelings to have. There was a pause before Leliana turned to the side and spoke. </p><p>“And to keep my end of the bargain to make sure you stick around to close rifts,” she pointed to one of the papers on her desk. “I have multiple spies on the lookout for Alistair Theirin. I don’t know if he will be with other grey wardens, if he changed his identity, or maybe we could just get a confirmation that he truly is dead.” She glanced back up to Aurora with her piercing eyes. “But I want to make something clear. You can yell like a child and complain about the hand you were dealt in the war room all you like. But do not think for one moment I will let you ever dismiss my skill set or respect in the eyes of my men and women. All of us have earned our place here after years of dedication to doing what was right even when it was hard. You will not find pity.” </p><p>Aurora felt like she had been hit, but she kept her mouth shut. She supposed fear was in fact the right feeling to have. Seeing that Aurora had nothing to say to that she continued. </p><p>“Last but not least, if Cassandra asks we are doing this to keep you around to do your duty. But I’m doing it for the sake of someone else. If Alistair needed our help and I did nothing to look for him I would be disappointing her greatly.” After saying her piece Aurora kept her eyes to the floor as Leliana went back to her work. </p><p>The moments felt like eternities but still Aurora said through a thick throat “Thank you all the same. The inquisition is lucky to have you.” </p><p>“I know.” She replied not looking up from her papers. Aurora took that as a cue to leave, before stepping fully out she heard Leliana muse to herself keeping her eyes down. “Nice cloak.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Still dying, sorry if this isn't great. It's hard to think straight these days. Please comment to donate for free 1 drop of serotonin.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tw: violence and minor gore</p>
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    <p>That night seemed to drag on for much longer than usual, and also went by without much thought. A pit had grown in her stomach that she was having difficulty talking herself out of. She knew that yelling at someone was not a great way of handling things, but she also felt like she had a valid reason to.</p><p>The entire situation was insane, and anyone else in her position probably would not have taken it much better. Something like this doesn’t happen every day, and anyone it did happen to was never believed. Even something more plausible, like being abducted by aliens was more believable.</p><p>But still, after her scolding from the spymaster, she felt like a child. Having lashed out, having treated everyone like it was their fault. She had not been in this cold world for very long but she knew well enough that an average person in this world was not going to be the sole creator of this shit show they were all currently stuck in. She knew she was going to have to apologize.</p><p>Most of the night she had spent staring at the mark that had newly graced her hand. It was clearly a foreign object, one that Solas had said was no normal magic but something older and more powerful. Not like she had any experience with magic before now, but still, the mark taunted her. A permanent glowing scar to remind her of how much is different, even her own body had to be unfamiliar after all of her surroundings changed.</p><p>She held up her other hand and compared them as the sun slowly started to enter the room. Comparing the palms, there was a clear distinction in color for obvious reasons. But on the back of the hand, there were scars that decorated the first two knuckles on her right hand. A mark from before, and a mark for after.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Not wanting to stay in her room, she remembered how she had not heard from the Commander and thought to give him a quick visit before trying to hunt down Cassandra.</p><p>“You there! There’s a shield in your hand block with it, if this man were your enemy you would be dead. Lieutenant do not hold back, these recruits need to be ready for a real fight not a practice one.” Men and women all in Inquisition regalia were scattered across the snowy expanse, it was clear to see where they had been practicing the most with the patches of no snow on the ground. Watching them was a frustrated-looking man with a very furry coat.</p><p>“I think they are trying their best, give them a break.” Aurora spoke suddenly a few feet behind him. The commander turned his head in surprise and greeted her.</p><p>“In the past few days, we received a number of recruits.” He crossed his arms looking back over at the men he was just watching. “Locals from Haven, some pilgrims. None of them tend to make the grandiose entrances that you always feel inclined to.” She laughed at that and went to stand next to him and watch over the people fighting.</p><p>“As if I will ever be able to top falling out of a glowing rip in the sky. Not that I would ever want to but still.”</p><p>At that commander glanced down at her after they watched the soldiers for a few silent moments. “How are you faring? Have you been able to rest?”</p><p>She shrugged and didn’t meet his gaze. “I’ve been trying. It’s been…” She swallowed and let out a slight sigh “I’ve been here over a week at this point. I’m doing a lot better than I was, but things are just-“ She bit her lip, unsure of how much she should say.</p><p>“Obscure?” He tried, raising an eyebrow. It was one way to put it.</p><p>“Something like that.” She swallowed and moved her weight onto one of her hips. “But physically I can tell I’m getting stronger again. I was really weak when I was sick, but I’ve been trying to do exercises away from everyone. Pushups, sit-ups, other things such as that. It’s nowhere near battle-ready strength of course but I’ve been trying.”</p><p>“What you should be doing is resting.” He said finally actually turning to her. “Withdrawal is a nasty thing that I have seen many go through. You may be lucky to be on your feet right now but there could still be long-lasting effects if you don’t take care of yourself.” She shook her head, but he wouldn’t budge so she pulled him off to the side further from the other soldiers.</p><p>“If I am going to be a Herald, I can’t be sickly. These people look up to me for reasons that I don’t understand and don’t think I ever will. But if I don’t want to disappoint any of them or get anyone killed, I need to try.”</p><p>“I understand that you are worrying for the sake of others but that is what we are doing too. We need to make sure that you will be at full health as soon as you can be.” He sighed. “Let me help you, you can practice and build your strength and I will make sure you don’t strain yourself.”</p><p>“Isn’t it normally the other way around?”</p><p>“Well, you aren’t exactly normal either.” He managed another smirk, which she met with rolled eyes.</p><p>“How kind of you.” She matched his tone and shook her head as if to clear the conversation. “Would you happen to know where I could find Cassandra? I really need to speak with her.”</p><p>The man held onto the pommel of his sword before taking a glance around away from the soldiers before turning back to face her. “I normally would find her around here somewhere practicing on the dummies we have set up. She is on them so often lately that I find it hard to get the other recruits to also use them because she scares them so much.”</p><p>“She is a very intimidating woman.”</p><p>“I would say all the women here are.” He replied before closing his mouth quickly and looking away. Slowly a light blush grew across her cheeks that he did not notice. “If I had to guess I would suppose that she would either be in the chantry or in the tavern grabbing something to eat. You would do well to start your search there.” She thanked him and was about to leave when she turned back and called out his name.</p><p>“This may be an odd question, especially if I am wrong but-“ She contemplated backing out of the question halfway through it after he turned to face her again. “Am I wearing your cloak? It’s just that Leliana made some comment about it and I don’t remember buying it and I know you stayed in my cabin that one night-“</p><p>“Keep it.” The sun started to peek into the valley at that moment and it lit him up from behind. “I had an extra.” She started to try to convince him to take it back when he stopped her “It looks better on you anyway.”</p><p>“It was nice seeing you.” She spoke earnestly, “It would have been nice to have seen you while I was sick but I also understand why you wouldn’t have.” Cullen’s body faced the men he was to go back to but he threw his words over his shoulder.</p><p>“You were asleep for a long time Herald.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Cullen was right about the tavern at the very least. It was early in the morning so there weren’t as many people as there usually was at night, the hustle and bustle was still prevalent but just more subdued. She found Cassandra sitting in the corner away from the other soldiers and other members of the inquisition. She seemed contemplative and Aurora didn’t necessarily want to interrupt her, but she also thought it would be best to talk to her when her sword wasn’t out and there were people around.</p><p>Aurora sat herself down in front of her and received a long look from the raven-haired woman. There was an awkward pause, a few awkward words in exchange of pleasantries before Aurora launched herself directly into her long-planned apology for the woman. She expressed sincere regret for her acting out and almost wanting to start a fight with her, and that it wasn’t much consolation, but she probably wasn’t going to be easy to deal with until her body gets used to not having the substance within her. “I tend to normally be annoying and hot-headed but I promise I won't try and pick fights all the time, usually.”</p><p>Cassandra had leaned back so her shoulders were resting against the wall of the building and had her arms crossed. The entire time Aurora was speaking she hadn’t said anything, and after Aurora finally fell silent she leaned forward with her elbows on the table.</p><p>“Leliana told me that it makes sense for you to act the way you have, especially considering your situation. I have seen many templars in my time and their addiction to lyrium, what it does to them. It is not pretty, but that isn’t intended to mess with your way of thinking like yours was. I cannot imagine not having support such as that as well as being stuck somewhere so very different from my own home.” She paused and glanced around the room. “Especially having to become a Herald to a religion you do not know.”</p><p>Aurora looked behind her and quickly caught several people quickly turn their heads back around to avoid meeting her gaze. She returned to her untwisted position, her back suddenly feeling much more vulnerable.</p><p>“That still doesn’t mean that I should have taken it out on you guys. Religion, I think, has just been a soft spot, so the conversation topic didn’t help.” Aurora dug her thumbnail into the table attempting to make a crescent-shaped dent in the wood. She shielded the side of her face from the others, but she still saw Cassandra’s position soften.</p><p>“That is understandable.” The woman watched Aurora’s face as she spoke. “There are many of those that find scorn, or fear for the Maker and in so reject the teachings. But I have to believe the maker chose you for a reason, I have to believe in his providence.”</p><p>“And what if I’m destined to fail and can’t do what everyone wants me to?” Aurora’s tired eyes finally met Cassandra’s, the Seeker took a moment to flit between her two eyes before nodding at what she had read.</p><p>“Then I’ll believe that was destined to happen as well.” With that, she dug her fork back into her food and it stood on end. “Now get some food for yourself, the ram is not as bad today.” They both looked at the fork for a moment before Cassandra sighed. “Although I will admit that the Ferelden food is definitely as bad as I was told it would be.”</p><p>Aurora finally sputtered in laughter at that and leaned over the table to whisper to her, “Do these people even know what spices are? Like, is it always this bland?”</p><p>Cassandra gazed off wistfully, “I certainly hope one day the cook will discover basic pepper.”</p><p>“Isn’t there a requisition table?” Aurora asked pulling up one of her legs getting comfortable. “Ask them to find some stuff for, uh, morale?”</p><p>She shook her head, “Sadly that is not what the Requisition table is for.”</p><p>Aurora found a few peanuts on the table from the night before and popped some in her mouth. “Boo, this place sucks.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Ahh, zee Hinterlandz. Zis place suckz.” Aurora muttered to herself while checking herself over for any poisoned cuts. She hated how it was starting to become second nature at this point.</p><p>“That’s crazy Herald, I didn’t know you spoke Orlesian.” Varric spoke walking up behind her. The entire place really was beautiful, she couldn’t deny that. The rocky faces, pools of water, and strong trees felt familiar and welcoming in their own right. The sun always seemed to shine just the right amount, and animals were almost around every corner. Do you know what else was around every corner? Bandits and those fucking templars.</p><p>“I may not know Orlesian, but I do know that I really hate Templars right now and I’m starting to not want to help them out of spite.” After finding no serious scratches she started to keep pace with him as they made their way to the outpost where they were supposed to meet with Scout Harding.</p><p>“Nah don’t worry about them they have been mostly retreating anyways, it’s the mages you want to watch out for, especially if they turned to blood magic during all this.” He spoke gruffly and she turned to look at him.</p><p>“You sound like you have experience with that.”</p><p>“I wish I didn’t.” He let out a long sigh, “I think a lot of people wish they didn’t.” She wanted to ask him more about it before Cassandra and Solas finally caught up with them.</p><p>“The caravan knows how to get to the outpost; we should scout ahead and get there before them so they can make preparations.” Cassandra spoke fixing her gauntlet.</p><p>“How do you find the world outside of the snowy hills of Haven? You haven’t seen much of the world besides it.” Solas fell into step with Aurora.</p><p>“Ah yes, Thedas, what a wonderful but much-too-large-for-my-stubby-legs-place.”</p><p>“You must be joking, do you even see me next to you? Or are my legs so much shorter than you that you can’t even see me?” Varric hadn’t moved from his spot walking next to her, Aurora and Solas had just been talking right over his head.</p><p>“Yeah, but you are proportional. I have a long-ass torso. I could never fit into any one piece ever and it sucked. I may act confident, but I don’t enjoy bikinis.” She crossed her arms over her stomach at just the mention of them and pretended to shutter.</p><p>She had lost her real genuine shakiness a while ago. As treatments went on and she continued to rest she started to gain more control and strength back. It had been a few weeks since she had first fallen ill but she still was very aware of how weak everyone around her saw her. But what she found the most astounding was that she had never recovered from something like that so quickly. Within the course of only a week and a half, she had been relieved of almost all her withdrawal symptoms, and even the teas and such that Adan had provided her limited those down to nothing as well. She didn’t know about what lyrium was or what the templars went through, but every single person told her that it was much worse for them. She tried not to think of the few templars that they fought against earlier.</p><p>She didn’t want to find herself lulled into a false sense of security though regarding her health, and of course, she started to think that perhaps this was paranoia. But in the end, she increased what she had been doing when she could. She had been stretching, basic muscle training, and cardio by just running anywhere she had to go. At first, she did not take Cullen up on his later offer of training, she refused to let the soldiers and such see her for how weak she really was. When she had first started, she was hardly able to even do three pushups. Besides doing basic diplomacy training with Josephine, Leliana telling her that she needed to lie about her life and gave her a story to memorize for those outside her inner circle, most of her time was spent trying to make it believable by talking with the companions and leaders and working on her physical prowess.</p><p>It surprised her as well as the people around her how quickly she started to improve. Once she had gotten her strength up to a certain level they had started training her how to actually defend herself. And while her memories were spotty, it seemed that she did seem to still have muscle memory. She had decent form, she already knew to watch their chests and knew where to hit. Cassandra had inquired about where she had gotten her training, but Aurora was as lost as her. She had continued in private until eventually Cassandra brought her to Cullen and the other soldiers to hone her skills. She had not been looking forward to it, but she knew she needed to train with others. She could doge expertly, and her footing was a little crap, but the biggest grime that she had was when they wanted her to attack first.</p><p>“You are going to need to hit them first sometimes. Getting the advantage could mean the difference between life and death.” Cullen called out from the side. The man she was training with was a random recruit that had volunteered, he clearly was a strong man but also seemed hesitant while fighting with her. “And you are going to have to stop holding back.”</p><p>“Commander-“ he started to protest.</p><p>“Do it.”</p><p>Aurora glanced over at the Commander and in that quick second the girthy soldier lunged at her with his practice sword, only at the last second colliding with hers instead of her head. Grunting at the impact she angled the sword to the side so the momentum of his body made him stumble. She moved quickly to have an advantage behind him, but he was up and turned quickly enough.</p><p>“You need to exploit weaknesses as soon as you see them. Any hesitation can leave you without a limb.” Cassandra called out from the side. Josephine had come down to quickly speak with Aurora about something but quickly got caught up in her battle, so did the rest of her soon-to-be companions. Solas and Varric had joined in so she truly felt like she held a captive audience.</p><p>“Or without a life.” Varric spoke in a normal voice but compared to the others yelling it felt like she still was not meant to hear it.</p><p>Solas stood apart from the others, she could feel a critical eye that was very different from the others.  She wasn’t sure why until she felt his toes pull up her back leg and she fell forward onto her elbows. She let out a hiss of pain before turning to look at him. “Do you want to fight too?”</p><p>“Why should I? I already know the outcome.” He smirked and looped back around to the others.</p><p>“No, he makes a good point, you really need to be watching your feet.” Cullen went to take Solas’s place where he was standing.</p><p>“How am I supposed to watch my feet when I’m fighting?” Aurora yelled while deflecting another attempted hit from her opponent.</p><p>“You know what I mean. Now attack him! You cannot defend forever.” Cullen’s voice dropped at the last sentence and she heard the others around her go quiet, and the soldier in front of her started to huff as well.</p><p>“Attack me, your eminence, I don’t mind.” He seemed sincere and he was waiting for her to strike. Her wooden sword split her view of his figure in half, he had been throwing his weight more than he should have been instead of using any actual technique. Looking at his eyes she saw them completely clean from wrinkles and noticed that he could be in fact younger than her. An uneasy feeling settled in her stomach.</p><p>“I’m not going to attack you first.” She forced out between her teeth. Her opponent glanced at the commander who she sensed moving behind her.</p><p>“You need to learn to attack someone first, how else are you supposed to be able to defend yourself and those around you if you do not take initiative?” The commander and Aurora both circled until they were facing each other.</p><p>“I just need to defend myself and get away. The best way to protect yourself is to get out of that kind of situation.” She looked through a part of her hair that had come loose from its tie atop her head. His face was not the Cullen that would joke around with her, but the man who held his position.</p><p>“You are not going to be able to defend anyone if you do not know how to get through someone. You are going to need to cut people down, you will reach a point where you need to end someone’s life to protect another’s.”</p><p>“How am I supposed to be the one who decides that?” Aurora exasperatedly flung her arms out. “Am I supposed to just get the jump on someone because of the armor they wear? What if a child was recruited and they never wanted to be a part of that?”</p><p>“I don’t know what kind of world you lived in Herald, but in this one, you need to stop acting like everyone’s intentions are good.” With that Cullen undid a few ties and threw off his mantel. Standing with his armor and undershirt on he easily pulled out the sword from the sheath like he had been doing it for years, which he had. Aurora started to feel the pit in her stomach she had out of pity for the lad she was fighting, and it slowly started to turn to fury towards the Commander.</p><p>“Cullen I am not sure this is the best way-“ Josephine started to intervene, but both Aurora and Cullen shut it down.</p><p>“Of course, not everyone is going to have good intentions. I’m not a fucking child Commander.” She practically spat out.</p><p>The armored man before her nodded to the recruit. Before she realized it, the recruit had exchanged her wooden sword for the real one he had on him. It was significantly lighter than she had anticipated it being, maybe only three pounds. She looked up just at the right time to have her sword crossed with the Commander on the other side of them. “Then prove you aren’t.” He said before pushing her near the hand part of her blade sending her staggering on her feet. “I told you to watch your footing.”</p><p>Some more pieces of her hair came loose and she attempted to send it out of her face with a sharp breath of air to no avail. <em>“This fucking bastard-“</em></p><p>She stood back upright and felt her feet dig into the ground, the air around her didn’t slow down or speed up, but she focused on her breath. He was egging her on, she knew he was, but she was still furious. Throwing the handle up for a moment before catching it in her hand again she made a fake swing for the head before looking to bash the flat side of her sword towards his knees which he jumped to avoid. Expertly he hit his pommel on her breastplate and sent her onto her ass. </p><p>“A leg will slow down your opponent but not render them immobile. You need to make sure that they will not be back to kill any of your men.” Cullen almost teasingly let the tip of his blade drag making a line in the trampled snow. “It is going to be your job to make sure that they are safe. Same as it is for them to keep you safe. I refuse to send out someone who will not be able to carry their own weight.”</p><p>She gripped the tied leather around her blade and tried to hold it in front of her while she still lay on the ground. “I refuse to kill anyone who is innocent.” She started to lower her blade, but he wasn’t going to let her. The Commander started to charge at her, startled she started to back up towards the others that were watching her.</p><p>"You want to protect people? Not disappoint them? This is how you do it." </p><p>She could hear Josephine and Varric both speaking up at this point but it wasn’t their legs that she ran into. She didn’t have to look up to recognize that it was Solas. Her sword back where she had fallen and Cullen still charging, she felt a piece of wood enter her hands again. Recognizing its feeling in her grip she used it to help her quickly get to her knees and used it to sweep Cullen’s feet. He wasn’t able to jump completely on time, but she still managed to stagger him. She quickly angled the staff akin to the ground to push herself to the side to try and circle around the Commander.</p><p>He quickly turned to face her rolling his shoulder back. He was still in training mode she guessed, and she didn’t find it hard to understand why so many of the soldiers resented his presence off the field. Holding the staff behind her at a diagonal, Cullen clearly mistook it for her being open for an attack. Focusing her intent on parts that came naturally to her, she knew to keep her thumbs in, she knew to hit the lower chest, and she knew to focus on the person and not the weapon they were holding. After managing to keep him at bay for a few seconds she found the opening she wanted and was able to hit his thumb.</p><p>Dropping his sword onto the ground, she expected him to finally stop attacking her but he didn’t. To her surprise, she had not grounded herself, nor did she have a strong grip on her weapon. He ripped the staff from her hands and sent it flying off to the side. As quick as he had thrown the weapon, he grabbed onto the straps of her armor and lifted her onto her toes.</p><p>“Innocent lives are lost every day Herald.” There wasn’t malice, he wasn’t filled with anger. This was life to him, and to him, he was just training her for what she needed to expect when she left Haven. But she did not feel the sentiment.</p><p>“And they shouldn’t be from us.” She hissed from between her teeth and pushed the knuckle of her thumb against his windpipe. Gripping his neck and choking she had grabbed the plain wooden staff and placed it back in Solas's hands, thanking him, then proceeded to start to walk away. “This world seems filled to the brim with pain Commander, let's not be so keen to add to it.”</p><p>She had been quite proud of herself to say something almost as cool as what these people say with their fancy accents every time they open their mouths. But she could feel her frame shaking, and she didn’t want to think about why.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mad’am? Are you alright?” A soft voice called her out of her thoughts. Looking to the side of her she noticed a dark-skinned woman in a fancier version of what she had seen the Andraste nun’s wearing. Aurora opened her mouth once almost as a test before turning to face her.</p><p>“Mother Gisele, my apologies. I was sick a few weeks ago as well as having hit my head. I am still having some troubles keeping my thoughts straight.” She didn’t want the mother to offer her any advice as of just yet so she just spoke. “Leliana told me that she wanted to speak with you regarding finding clerics to help them gather in Val Royeaux. Were trying to help people and she said you were a good chantry person unlike Rodrick so she wanted your help.”</p><p>The mother actually tilted her head at that. “I had never expected the Inquisition to pick up a diplomate that spoke and talked like the dwarven people.” Her Orlesian accent was thick, and Varric had told her that her frustration with the accent made him think that she was really Ferelden. </p><p>“Oh, my apologies.” Aurora had been gripping the staff in her hands too tightly that none of the light from the mark had been able to come through. “I suppose I probably should have actually introduced myself. I guess all of Josephine’s etiquette training didn’t stick as much as she had hoped it would.”</p><p>“The Herald of Andraste!” The mother exclaimed in front of her. “I had not expected you for another day or two.”</p><p>“Well, I always seem to appear when people least expect me.” She grumbled trying to take in where her companions were at. Not spotting them immediately she turned her attention back to the mother. “Do you think you will be able to go talk to Leliana then? I really don’t want to upset her again.”</p><p>The mother's exasperation before had turned into something different that Aurora didn’t know how to define. “Tell me, Herald,” The mother gently placed a hand against Aurora’s arm and lead her away from some of the others. “are you Andrastian?”</p><p>Aurora silently cursed her companions for not joining her on this little ridge with the mother. But maybe they did it on purpose, those bastards. She thought about the story that Leliana tried to paint for her. According to the story she was raised by two dwarfs that rejected everything involving Orzamar and she also didn’t have much contact with anyone outside of them. Which was to explain how dumb she was regarding anything, people wouldn’t be able to quiz her on stuff,  explain her accent, as well as explain her foul language and disposition. “Something we will work on” Josephine had said. </p><p>“Not particularly, no.” She decided to go with.</p><p>“We are all the Makers children, even if we find our strengths in other ways.” The mother was gentle and did not become angry like Aurora had anticipated her to be. “What is it?”</p><p>“It’s just that… I don’t know. I didn’t think you would be okay with someone who isn’t Andrastian being the Herald.”</p><p>“It isn’t something that someone chooses to be. And I am certain that your honesty on the Makers side could do wonders.” The mother gave her a warm and welcoming smile. “I will meet with your spymaster as soon as the people in this village get the help that they need.”</p><p>“I can do that!” Aurora became much more excited than she had expected from herself. Helping people was one of the main reasons she signed up for this, being able to help people without killing them was exactly what she wanted. “What kind of issues have you heard?”</p><p>When Mother Giselle started telling her who she should speak with about certain jobs, Aurora had taken out a small pocketbook and started writing it all down. As she was doing this her companions found their way back to her, Cassandra stepping up to join the two of them. They spoke for a little bit before Aurora excused herself to let the two of them speak.</p><p>Stepping down to join the two men of their entourage, Solas asked how the conversation with the mother had gone.</p><p>“Better than I had thought actually.” She breathed a sigh in relief and looked around the village. “But she gave me a good list of people to help here in the village before she can leave for Haven.”</p><p>“It might be easier for us to get the horses first, that way we could help everyone quicker as well.” Varric tried as he fell in step with Aurora as he always seemed to. She shook her head,</p><p>“We don’t know how long that could take. I think it would be better if we just helped everyone here first, that way Leliana could speak with the mother as soon as possible.”</p><p>“Really trying to stay on her good side aren’t yeah?” Varric asked with a laugh.</p><p>“You could say that. Though I doubt staying on her good side will be attainable. I think I’ll go with good enough to not be killed in my sleep.”</p><p>“You wouldn’t have to be asleep for her to kill you.”</p><p>“I know that very well Varric, thank you.” She huffed in irritation as the dwarf snickered and went to go bother the Seeker on their decided plan. Solas stood next to her and glanced down at the list she had written down, though "writing" was not what he would call it.</p><p>“What did you use to write that with?” He furrowed his eyebrows and stole a glance at her face. The irritation that was there mixed with embarrassment and she closed the book and put it back in her pocket.</p><p>“Charcoal.” She huffed “I’ve been grabbing bits to keep in a bag to write with.” He started to speak when she just shook her head looking in his eyes “Don't.”</p><p>Deciding to change the subject he asked which one of the “missions” she had been given she would start with first. She bit her lip and looked away so he pressed again.</p><p>“She said that they were running low on food in the village and wouldn’t be able to eat in just a day or two. She wants us to speak with a hunter up in the village along the road and ask what might be the easiest way to help.” She still had an uneasy look on her face.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“I just.. I haven’t hunted before. I feel like I was supposed to but I don’t think I ever have.” She started to look sick and she clutched her hands tighter. She threw her staff onto a harness that used runes on her back for ease of access then rubbed her hands together. “Maybe I can learn how to make bread or something, I think that might be a better skill set for someone like me.”</p><p>“Someone like you would be deemed a hero if you were able to come back with food enough to fill the stomachs of all these villagers.” Solas mused.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was enough convincing she needed to at least make her way into the woods with the intent on getting meat for the village. The hunter had told her around how much meat they would need to sustain the town for at least a few extra days, he then also started to become very graphic in the way of how to collect the meat from them and proper ways to kill and skin them in a way that still leaves them with respect. She was nodding along but Solas placed his hand on her upper back to try and keep her upright.</p><p>And so the four of them at that point were walking through the woods trying to find different animals that they could be able to bring back for the village. It was frustrating for Aurora at the very least because she liked to talk when she was nervous and uncomfortable but that was exactly the last thing she was supposed to be doing. They had been out for nearly an hour when they started to hear the sound of water running. Slowly making her way towards it, she turned to signal the others to come but Varric already had his crossbow out and had shot a bolt behind her by the time she blinked.</p><p>The first thing noticed was the garbled choking and squeal that came from behind her. She had become frozen in place with her eyes facing forward and her feet rooted into the ground. By the time the others had run past her to check over the animal most of the color had drained from her face. By the time she had managed to turn Cassandra already had a knife to the animal's throat to put it out of its misery.</p><p>She thought that maybe after everything she would have teared up, started heaving, or anything like they show that they did in movies. Just some form of visceral reaction to watching the life fade out of the animal's eyes.</p><p>Instead, she blinked, over and over again. As if it was the only motion her body remembered how to do.</p><p>“Hey, you okay over there?” Varric called out to her while pulling the bolt out of the Ram. It apparently wasn’t salvageable because he ended up just throwing it to the side.</p><p>“I-“ She was about to respond before she fell quiet. The others looked at her. Solas was about to take a step forward before they all started to hear yelling in the distance. Wanting to get away from the dead animal, Aurora quickly sprinted off in the other direction despite the protest of those behind her. She was certain she was going to be scolded later but then again, she would do anything to get away from that scene.</p><p>Running up the trail, she was hyper-fixating on every little thing. Every stick that broke underfoot, every bird that whizzed by overhead, the sound of yelling and water coming ever closer. Once she reached the crest of the hill she was climbing she saw what she was looking for.</p><p>She didn’t know if it was a large pond or maybe a small lake, from the sound of rushing water she assumed it might just be a pool of stagnant water that found itself separate from the river that must be rushing. There were lily pads and rock everywhere she looked, along with a small waterfall in the back. If it was any other situation, she was sure she would have loved to stay here for longer than a moment.</p><p>The sound of yelling she had heard picked up again coming from the direction of what looked like a fishing cabin across the way. Trying to see a way over there she heard another pair of legs coming up behind her. Solas had followed her on her way up, she expected him to scold her but he seemed just as worried about what might be ahead of them as well. She tried to read his face to see what he thought but he simply nodded in the direction of the docks with a determined chin. In a few moments, they found themselves trying to silently go across the docks to see if they could catch a glimpse of who was there or what was going on.</p><p>Hiding behind some boards they calmed their breathing and attempted to listen.</p><p>“Now I understand that you men fear for your lives and your family's lives. That is why I have brought you here. You are going to learn to fight for yourselves and you are going to be able to do what I alone cannot. Do you understand?” There were some sounds of agreement. “I will not accept that type of response, now say it from your gut. Do you understand?” The voice yelling was deep and filled with authority, commanding yet not angry like some kind of thug leader.</p><p>“Yes Sir!” The men cried in unison. She turned to Solas with a questioning look but he was still focused on listening to them.</p><p>“I am doing this for all of you, I did not need to conscript you. So while you are here you will learn all you can and you will be able to take your village back-“</p><p>At the word conscript, Solas had straightened his back and he turned to look between the planks they were resting against.</p><p>“What is it Solas? Do you know what they are talking about? What is conscription?” She turned as well and tried to look between one of the planks.</p><p>“Well,” Solas had said with little emotion in his voice “It seems we have found ourselves a Grey Warden.”</p><p>Aurora glanced at him still looking between the planks. “Isn’t that what the Hero of Ferelden and Alistair are? Grey Wardens?” He didn’t answer so she turned herself back to looking at the scene before them.</p><p>In front of the fishing cabin, there were a collection of men holding onto rickety-looking swords and shields. The shields looked as if they were made from random wood they had collected. But the man in front of them was another story, he had dark black hair on his head that also decorated his face. The way he held himself reflected a sort of regal-rugged look to himself. As if he could easily fit in with a group of thugs or high courts if he wished. He had on solid silver armor that covered his large form in the most important areas, and from the sword he had just drawn out, he clearly had a great taste for weaponry.</p><p>“You can come out now. I saw you two when you ran up the docks. Show yourselves.” He was speaking directly in their direction, there was no mistaking who he was speaking about. But she still fell to her back again and she glanced at the elf beside her “Maybe he meant the other people who ran up the docks to eavesdrop on them?” She tried to express it on her face but he clearly did not buy it.</p><p>She held her hands up and slowly stood. “My apologies sir, we heard the yelling and scouted ahead for our group.” He yelled at her to turn around to which she saw him starting to walk towards the dock holding his sword in a defensive position. She decided to slowly start walking forward to meet him until they were a few feet away from each other and could read each other’s faces. “Can I help you? Sir?” She asked again slowly putting her hands down.</p><p>“You will refer to me as Warden Blackwall. And yes, you can help me.” He gave her a look that made her put her hands up again. “Care to tell why two mages are watching me train these poor men? Care to take them out before they can make it back to their families?”</p><p>She blinked a few times and glanced over at the men back on the grass. They were clearly untrained, improperly holding their shields and swords. If Cullen had seen it she wondered if he would treat them as <em>kindly </em>as he had treated her. She turned her attention back to the warden in front of her. “Are you sure they would even make it back to their families? They are practically shaking in their boots because one person with a funny stick decided to watch them train.” The men instantly became more uncomfortable, and warden Blackwall more furious.</p><p>“These good men are wanting to protect their livelihood. They wanted nothing to do with this war that you brought them into. Innocents caught in the crossfire of this war have nothing to do except for stand their ground.” As Blackwall was proclaiming pride and such for the men behind him, she felt Solas making his way down the docks to meet them, but she did not take her eyes off the man with the sword in front of her.</p><p>“You can put your sword aside Warden Blackwall. We are not a part of the mage rebellion, we are members of the Inquisition.” Solas’s tone of "condescendingly assuring others" thought it would be a great time to make an appearance when there was a sword ready to hit them both. “And she hardly even has the basis of a foci on her staff, you should have been able to tell she was no mage.”</p><p>Blackwall looked Aurora up and down more intently. She had the most basic of armor on but certainly more than the average mage would wear. On top of having a quarterstaff with no form of magical décor, she also had a dagger strapped to her side which was extremely unlike any mage he ever encountered.</p><p>“That still begs the question, why would you two spy upon us?”</p><p>“When you are in a land that is war-torn by idiotic factions and you hear yelling, one tends to scope out a place before simply barging in,” Solas answered before Aurora had the chance to open her mouth, his quick response made her wonder if he had been waiting to say it.</p><p>The warden had looked them up and down for a bit before sheathing his sword. “Well now, Inquisition you say? Trying to bring peace to the land and close the sky I hear?” He turned and started to walk towards his collection of men. “Those are some tough orders to fill.”</p><p>“I like to take one day at a time.” She grinned glad for the ever-changing distraction from the knot in her stomach. “It's hard to really do anything different.” With that, his dark mustache finally twitched up despite his attempt to hide his smile.</p><p>“With that, we couldn’t agree more, agent? Did you say?” He was still standing in front of his men, and in so couldn’t see the uneasy looks on their faces as they glanced at the two new arrivals.</p><p>“Something like that.” She grinned then glanced to the elf at her side. “He is our super special apostate that knows things and is damn pleased with himself about it.” He looked down with a glare.</p><p>“I am highly educated-“</p><p>“You take naps and talk down to people.”</p><p>“It is quite easy when you are so much closer to the ground than I am.”</p><p>“Is this how Varric feels? I don’t like it.”</p><p>They bickered for a moment before Blackwall cut in “I take it you two have known each other for a while?”</p><p>“Yes” “No.” They answered at the same time. They looked at each other before Blackwall grinned again.</p><p>“No matter! If the Inquisition wants to bring peace to these lands, the least they can do is try to train these people to protect their own lands. So if you would be too kind, I could use some help training these men.” Blackwall turned to the side so everyone could face each other easily. The newbie soldiers looked like they wanted to die. The freakishly tall elf looked like he was ready for some unrestrained summer fun, in the most sarcastic way possible.</p><p>“Absolutely. There is not a single thing I would rather do right now at all whatsoever thank you so much.” She tried not to think of the blood that was dripping out of the animal not even a mile away. She didn’t want to think about her relation to it. She did not want to think about the people who met an even worse death because of her falling through that rift. So she ignored it, she just had to keep ignoring it.</p><p>After introducing themselves properly and speaking with each other about how far they were going to push and everything, they got to training.</p><p>Blackwall was not as forceful as Cullen was. And he quickly realized that she still needed help as well. When he asked if she was a recent recruit and she didn’t say much, he scaled back on his intensity considerably. She was amazed at how the way he held himself the longer she watched him. This random man she found in the woods was firm but caring, he would make sure you knew when you did a technique wrong, but he wasn’t the type to scold you for it. He would pull you aside and make sure that you were doing it correctly before sending you back in. She appreciated the style of teaching that she didn’t think she would find while in this world, and her disdain towards the Commander's behavior bubbled more in her subconscious.</p><p>When she wasn’t paying attention, Varric and Cassandra had found their way over. While Aurora was busy laughing and running around these villagers, the two had been met by Blackwall on the dock as she and Solas had. Varric found himself a chair next to the cabin and Cassandra ended up joining in on the demonstrations. Aurora tried to stay out of her way, the woman was built like a walking tower with hips that could send her into the water twenty feet away. But eventually, it was her turn to be demolished. “I really don’t wanna.”</p><p>“You are going to have to.” Cassandra hit her sword against her shield and started to take position. It was a quick fight, one that Aurora found herself mysteriously without too many one-liners, one that left her more with short yelps of terror as she attempted to dodge and leap around the woman. More quickly than Cassandra would have liked, she had her foot placed on top of Aurora’s chest.</p><p>“I secede.” The battered-up woman laid on her back with her arms up.</p><p>“Cullen was correct. Your footwork is atrocious.” Cassandra did genuinely sound concerned, but the sound of the Commander’s name just made Aurora roll her eyes. “You need to learn to stand your ground.”</p><p>“I’m more of a jump around and hope to not get hit kind of person.” Aurora huffed out taking the hand that Cassandra had offered to her. The warden had found himself in between the two of them and looked in a much better mood than he had been when they first found him.</p><p>“This genuinely was a great day. These men were able to jump forward much faster than if it had just been me training them. I genuinely appreciate the Inquisition coming to help.”</p><p>“Yes,” Cassandra said taking a step to face him directly. “We came to the Hinterlands in order to speak with a number of people about specific missions, but we also wanted to help as many as we could.” She nodded,  certain of every word she spoke as always. Her general confidence astounded Aurora every time the woman opened her mouth. “It was truly lucky of us to have found a Grey Warden of all people amongst this mess. Have you happened to hear anything about Warden Alistair? Some of our people are looking for him.”</p><p>The bearded man scratched the back of his head before glancing at the hills around them. “Alistair eh? The fellow who traveled with the Hero of Ferelden during the blight?”</p><p>“The one and the same.”</p><p>“I haven’t heard much I’m afraid. I tend to travel on my own much of the time. Even back during the blight, I was just traveling Ferelden killing any darkspawn that I came across.”</p><p>“That is an interesting coincidence.” Cassandra paused for just a moment long enough to hint at awkwardness. “Our spymaster was as well.”</p><p>“Then she will truly understand the dangers that it posed.” He looked over to his men that looked ready to turn in for the day, it was already starting to reach sunset. “Fighting darkspawn is never for the faint of heart. I’m sure that even as a Seeker you must know that much.” After another straining moment Cassandra excused herself, she made her way back over to their two male companions clearly with the intention of their departure. As Aurora glanced over at the others, she saw Varric waving her over, but she was pulled aside by the warden.</p><p>“Agent Aurora was it? May I have a word?” She nodded and walked with him a bit further aside, she tried a smile at the others to reassure them but didn’t catch their reactions.</p><p>Standing a bit taller than Solas she had to crane her neck up a bit to look at him while standing closely. The sky was already turning a warm caramel color and she was hoping they would be able to make it back before it was too dark to see. “What is it?”</p><p>“Well you see, I meant what I’ve said up until this point. I am here to help these men defend their homes, but I am not genuinely conscripting them. I cannot conscript an entire group of men that have families that need them.”</p><p>She furrowed her brows as he spoke “What is it you are asking about then?”</p><p>“Varric is a writer, that elf you came with Solas is an apostate, and Cassandra is a Seeker. You seem to be the one that is here solely for the sake of the Inquisition. So I wanted to ask what I could do to repay for you all helping these men.” She uneasily looked over at the others, who were watching her from the side. She had never been the one to really make a decision before for the organization, let alone by herself.</p><p>“What is it you are proposing… Warden?” Using the title still felt odd, she wished she could just say Sir.</p><p>“Well, there is a giant hole ripped in the sky, the Divine is dead, people killing each other left and right, and all of Thedas breathing down your group's neck. You are likely to need more help than the few recruits you may get from helping the people here.” She straightened her back as he started to lead up to his intent.</p><p>“Are you saying we are wasting our time here?” She spoke evenly.</p><p>Blackwall seemed to grow frustrated before he took a step forward. “What you need are the Grey Warden Treaties. They are to be used during a blight to bring people together against the darkspawn. They are centuries old and well respected. If you really want to set things right, maybe you need a warden. Maybe you need me.” At his last words, their eyes burrowed into each other a bit before he looked away.</p><p>She was about to answer him before he yelled out in warning. Blackwall pulled her to him behind his shield just as a bright orange light bloomed around in a dome. She gasped at the suddenness of it and as the exposed parts of her legs seared from the heat, but thankfully the angle that Blackwall had held his shield most of it had gone over their heads.</p><p>“Andraste’s flaming pyre-“ Blackwall pulled down his shield just in time for the two of them to see that the men who had been resting near the cabin surrounded by a group of rebel mages. Her eyes widened at the people dressed in torn robes, clearly hungry and desperate. But that did not stop them from raising their staff again in their direction as the light quickly began to fill the air again. “Run” He pushed her away from him before he started charging directly for the caster. She watched as her companions got pulled into the action.</p><p>Solas immediately had his staff out and was trying to wrap as many people as he could in those protective barriers that she had felt before when she first attempted to close the rift. Cassandra went to charge in but was blocked by a wall of ice.</p><p>Varric was shooting bolts left and right as quickly as he could get them loaded. Seeing Bianca out made her think of the broken bolt she had seen him toss aside earlier that day. Would one less bolt mean the difference between life and death for them?</p><p>The untrained men were easy prey, and the mages seemed to know it.</p><p>These men that she had spent the past few hours with, laughing, fighting, learning about their lives growing up in the villages near here. All of it wiped away with an incantation and swing of a mage's staff. She felt her legs stuck to the ground similar to how they were earlier with the ram that her companions had downed. Simply watching as blood gurgled from its mouth onto the unforgiving ground beneath it. It was all happening again. She couldn’t look away, and she couldn’t comprehend what was happening and felt a prisoner in her own body.</p><p>She had started to, for just a moment, hear yelling. It sounded like it was through layers of cotton shoved in her ears, distant but in some way you understand it is closer. Varric and Cassandra were attempting to get over to her but they were held back from the others with a wall of fire blocking their path, the only form of light on the newly created battlefield. Solas was attempting to protect the others that were left, and Blackwall was doing the best that he could to keep them at bay. She could see his armor ripped and parts of it even seared through the clothing beneath it. Apart from all of it her eyes slowly found their way to the less blurry figure in front of her.</p><p>The mage's short choppy hair silhouetted her in a halo of fire, it looked like she had wanted a buzz cut but only had a knife to cut as close to the scalp as she could manage. She wondered for a moment if she had done it to herself, or someone else did before she got away.</p><p>She had her staff directly at her side, and she glanced down her strong nose to Aurora frozen before her. Her look turned soft for but a moment.</p><p>“Did they take you?” it was a simple sentence, one that was able to hold a range of emotions within her thick voice. When Aurora continued staring at her she reiterated. “Did they take you?”</p><p>“What?” She was barely able to speak. Varric was cursing up a storm outside of her earshot.</p><p>“This… Inquisition. Did they capture you from one of our camps?” Aurora’s vision started to fill in, she could see how far the fire was spreading and had taken notice that the woman had not attacked her. “We saw you walking with different members through the forest, then we saw you run chased by another mage. We came here to set you both free but then the elf started attacking us as well.”</p><p>Aurora’s eyes looked up and saw the focused and determined look on the said elf’s face. He was spinning his staff around at such a speed that she didn’t think possible. Had these people really come to help them? Wouldn’t that make them good people?</p><p>Screaming, it was clear where it was coming from. The other mages in her group were burning the men with the end of their staffs like a brand. While others were able to make fire rain down from the sky, generate glyphs of ice on the ground to stab their opponent’s feet so they could no longer walk. This was not a quick ending, this was torture.</p><p>Aurora turned her gaze back to the woman in front of her and tried to fight the lump forming in her throat “Please stop hurting them. They didn’t do anything to harm you. These men were just here training to protect their families.”</p><p>“These people don’t know pain. And they will always be the first ones to force it upon us.” She raised a hand and pointed at Aurora, her voice rising with it. “You should know that, locked up for years never able to see the sky. Who’s fault do you think that is? The chantry as a whole? The Divine? No.” The further she fell into her own speech the wall of flames separating her from the others rose. “It’s people like them who fear us to the point that they would lock up children instead of choosing to show compassion. Why should we not show them what their indifference and disdain did to us?”</p><p>Something stirred in Aurora’s subconscious that made her hesitate. The woman across from her took the opportunity to turn towards her companions. She raised her hands as red started to swirl around her fingers like gloves made from the element she embodied. The flaming walls started to push towards the others at a diagonal, surrounding everyone fighting and force them into smaller quarters with blisters forming on their skin.</p><p>There was always screaming. When there wasn’t screaming there was gurgling. Where there was gurgling there was blood. And death. And responsibility, no, accountability.</p><p>They weren’t just screaming in pain, they were asking for her. They wanted her to help. They were exhausted and hurting and they couldn’t fight against an inferno.</p><p>The woman remained in front of her, not even thinking to check on if Aurora would betray her ill-given trust. Aurora had not even realized she had stabbed the woman until she felt the vibrations through her dagger.</p><p>A sharp gasp came first, then the extinguishing of the flame. The woman didn’t fall off the blade like they did in movies.</p><p>Aurora fell with her still clutching onto the blade that was given to her. The staff that had gifted her the advantage of misinterpretation lay behind her abandoned. Aurora didn’t look away this time. The woman made noises from deep in her throat and chest that she had never heard from a human being before, a noise she didn’t even think that they could make. She guided her down as the woman fell onto her side.</p><p>Her vision was getting bad again, for a moment she thought Solas’s spell for her sight had worn off before she realized her face was slick with tears. She watched as they dripped off her face and mixed with the blood that covered her hands. Her head was spinning but all she could focus on was the woman that was choking and seizing as her lungs fought to expel the blood that was filling them. A puddle had started to form next to her mouth. Aurora tried to wipe the blood of her palms and tried to elevate the woman’s head, she was so weak she could not even fight off the unwanted helping hands.</p><p>Frantically Aurora was whispering over and over again apologies. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to I just couldn’t let you, they were my friends I’m so sorry I couldn’t-“ She tried to wipe some of the dirt off of the woman’s face and was horrified as a smear of blood was added. Her eyes were rolling into the back of her head and her coughing started to become weaker with every inhale.</p><p>“Please don’t die-“ What a silly concept, she thought to herself as she watched the woman’s eyes become simply marbles in a scull completely dull and void of life. What a silly concept that a murderer would beg their victim to not perish.</p><p>Aurora thought her own heart had stopped.</p><p>Seconds or minutes passed before she realized that the sounds of fighting had ceased. Solas started to speak and touch her shoulder but she flinched away.</p><p>“You need to take a potion.” He urged. Confused, she had completely forgotten about her legs until that moment. Glancing down at them she saw that part of them had been burnt through, she couldn’t recognize her own skin. So her eyes found themselves back to the woman she held in her hands.</p><p>With her ignoring him he tried again “Then please let me try to at least heal your legs a bit so you can walk-“As he spoke he touched her again and she lurched away. She set the woman’s head down and stood further away not facing him.</p><p>The ground doesn’t feel real, the sky isn’t real, the flame she saw soaring through the darkened night couldn’t <em>possibly</em> be real.</p><p>
  <em>“You are going to need to cut people down, you will reach a point where you need to end someone’s life to protect another’s”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“How am I supposed to be the one who decides that?”</em>
</p><p>In a blink, she found herself at the shore near the dock that she and everyone else had come from. Her hands were resting against the rocks under the water, the blood from them seeping off of her like tendrils of smoke disappearing into everything around it. Hardly even visible beneath the surface in the light of the two moons. <em>Disappearing. Just disappear. It was never there, just need to get it off. Everything will be fine.  </em></p><p>“Aurora-“ She heard the Varric’s voice speaking behind her, it was kinder than she had ever heard it. She heard the pebbles sliding from their resting place as he took steps to stand next to her kneeling crumpled form. She watched the water ripple as he spoke.</p><p>“So when you said you never hunted before-“ He stole a glance at her “you really have never killed anything ever have you?” She slightly shook her head as he whispered “Shit” under his breath. “I know it isn’t going to feel great right now but you need to know you really helped us. I could see you struggling but you pulled through. Were here because you helped.”</p><p>
  <em>Helped</em>
</p><p>“They thought I was one of them.” Her voice cracked as soon as she opened her mouth. She could sense the others standing behind her but didn’t care enough to try and control her volume. “They saw me run from you and Cassandra when you downed the ram and they thought I was trying to get away, same as Solas.” She pulled her hands out of the water and looked them over, the smell of pennies burnt the inside of her nose.</p><p>“So that’s why she didn’t attack you? Well, I guess that makes sense then.” He let out a big sigh and held out his hand to her after a few beats of silence. “It’s time we left.” She looked at his hands and then at her own, understanding he gently grabbed her elbow and hoisted her into a standing position. “We need to get you back to one of the camps.”</p><p>When she stood she was taller than Varric could really help with. The first one to step forward, Solas made a move to help but she lurched away again. Confused he stayed in his spot as she tried not to look at him.</p><p>Cassandra quickly took Varric’s place holding on to the woman’s elbow to keep her upright. The Seeker had had to kill many people in her life, but it was always a devastating blow to the soul to have to end the life of another human being. They didn’t speak the whole way back to the camp.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm not used to jumping scenes very much so my apologies if any of them feel choppy. Please let me know if you enjoyed it even if you just comment a keyboard smash- I will feel it and also appreciate you.<br/></p>
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